Liberal Conservatives and Other Word Twists

By

Micheline Birger



I'm still waiting for the Sex Scandal 29 days before the Mid-Term Elections. I don't know if anyone else has noticed besides myself that we have a lot of disgruntled voters and politicos out there. Everyone thinks they have "The Answer". George Burns was right - "How come everyone who knows how to run the country is busy either driving cabs or cutting hair?" Everyone 'cept the politicians...they all know how to get "on course" and not deviate. Economics, jobs, health, education,crime, national and international security, diplomatic relations - whew - I'm exhausted. I need some comic relief amongst all of this cacophony.

Well, former Governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, is back in the saddle again. Or is it back on the saddle again? Whatever! You remember, the guy who wanted to clean up New York but got caught with Call Girl #9, a wannabe singer? That Eliot Spitzer. Well is little affaire de la coeur (affair of the heart) girlfriend profited from this exposure by having her songs downloaded more than 100,000 times at .99 cents a pop. Only in America. Sex does sell, doesn't it?

Anyway, he is a born-again, reformed man. He's got a gig co-hosting yet another Talking Head Show with Kathleen Parker, a Pulitzer Prize winning columnist. Kathleen is the Star. Yeah! Woman on top! I think they call her a "liberal conservative" whatever that is. You figure it out. I can't.

Jerry Brown and Meg Whitman are deep in their mud-wrestling for their governorship of the Great State of California. Meg is being crucified, stoned, and hung on the cross by her past Hispanic maid of 9 years. I don't know, something to the effect that the maid was never legal or something. "'Splain yourself out of that one Lucy." But underneath all of that hoopla the real question remains. That is whether or not the voters are angry enough at 'dem Dems for spending so much dough since they've been in office. And...are they, the voters, willing to switch over to overthrow the current regime???

Hilary Clinton is not running for Prez in 2012. I guess that is why a dentist from Illinois has paid for an ad for her that has already aired in New Orleans. Hill for Prez in 2012. Her slogan - Where there's a Hill, there's a way! Apparently the ads are going to be placed in LA, New York, Washington and possibly Houston. That's what they call "strategerie" for someone who denies zero interest or the intention to be dragged through the political coals - once again. I must hand it to all of these woman politico's - regardless of their party - Hooray! They all have guts and brawn!

I guess if there is some sexual tension in this race, it is with the women running for office. They claim that the media is biased, sexist and that the women candidates whine too much because it appears that the almighty media plays the gender card way too much. Gosh, as a female observer, watching this whole fiasco, my immediate knee-jerk reaction is - Ya' think? If it walks like a turkey, and talks turkey, then it's turkey, isn't it?

Of course it is true. When equally qualified folks are vying for power slots, it brings out the best and the worst of them, doesn't it? That is what makes them whole and alive. We need street-fighting chicks getting their stronghold in the political system. Isn't that what America is about? Or, am I missing something? Please let me know.

Apparently Christine O'Donnell and her masturbation comment was misconstrued erroneously. Ha! Christine sees masturbation as adultery. What??? Am I missing something? Who and what are they committing adultery with? And really, what does it matter? In the grander scheme of things...

Rahm Emmanuel, the White House Chief of Staff, stepped down from his post to go be 'da Mayor of crime-ridden corrupt Chicago. His replacement, Peter Mouse likes cats. He's going to be the new Chief of Staff. Oh, I'm so sorry, I stand to be corrected - Peter Rouse...somehow I like Mouse better. You know, everything in politicks and in life is one big cat and mouse game anyway.

Jon Stewart is "saddened by Obama"; Obama is barnstorming in backyared politicks trying to rustle up votes for the Mid-Terms...and the great Stupid-Bowl er SuperBowl of politics a la Americaino continues. And I love every single moment of it. I write about it because I know nothing about it. Is there any other reason on the planet to write about it? I don't think so. But, I tell ya', just one itty-bitty, juicy sex scandal would definitely liven things up. Don't you think? The heat is on!

See my book, Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life

http://www.buybooksontheweb.com/product.aspx?ISBN=0-7414-2890-3