Micheline's Top 5 Awards 2010...Politicks-World-Personal Temporary Political Sanity & A Tawdry Sex Scandal In Sweden Leaks Out Let Them Eat Spam...Still No New Sex Scandal... 'Twas the Nite Before the Election...& Still No Sex Scandal...Yet!!! Dial-A-Prayer Politicks & Still No Sex Scandal...Yet! Political Spit Ball Mania & Still No Sex Scandal Yet... Women Are Still Faking Orgasm...Other Political Topics at Mid-Term Liberal Conservatives and Other Word Twists Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life - Hello!

By

Micheline Birger

Another opening...another show...another closing of a decade...what was this decade about? War...recession...Facebook...terrorism...exposure of political corruption??? Where did it go? Time moves so quickly. Hmmm...the Decade of America finally waking up to the fact that we are not the world's sweetheart? The Decade of American terrorism? The Decade of America...finally realizing that the way we have been proceeding energetically as a nation is broke...just not working anymore... are we on the verge of the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius? The Decade of Revelation that things are falling apart only to come together in a much more fitting fashion for all?...whatever...everyone has an opinion...we must honor that...after all it's just another viewpoint...and this is America...and God Bless this country.

Political kudos to Rahm Emmanuel (D) who is now legally able to run for 'De Mayor of Chicago...to Joe Miller & Lisa Murkowski (R) who are still duking it out for that cherished Senate seat in Alaska - another hearing - another delay...hopefully this will be settled before someone goes to Washington in 2011...it will probably be Lisa but I can't say that Joe didn't give it his best shot...

Other highlights are that gays can now serve openly in the military...Bush's Tax Cuts is good for another two years...we're still in Afghanistan and Iraq at war...the U.S. is more than 13 Trillion in the hole...the U.S. Population is more than 308,745,538...all these people...and that's who was counted...the political whirlwind just spins round and round and where she begins and where she ends...nobody knows.

Micheline's Top Political Awards for 2010 goes to - (not necessarily in order...I vacillate) This is just my personal opinion...5) Bill & Hillary Clinton (D)...cosmic political delegates...they were born & bred for the political world...they're like the Ever-Ready Bunny...they just keep going and going and going. 4) Christine O'Donnell (R) Former candidate from Delaware for Congress - We love you Christine..."I am not a witch...I just dabbled in it." "I am you." "I didn't go to Yale." And I am still unsure about her stance on masturbation...but who cares? 3) Sarah Palin (R) - Who can refudiate The Sarah? The ex-governor of Alaska who Twitters and Tweets...and even has her own TV Show. She's going Rogue and Vogue with her doll line-up collection...yes Sarah...you have taken America by Heart. 2) John Boehner (R) - The new Speaker of the House who is subject to fits of crying because he either has hormone issues or is still dumbfounded that he came from such humble roots and is living the American Dream. Congrats John! 1) Sheila Dixon (D) - the former Mayor of Baltimore who got canned-ousted-fired-impeached for allegedly stealing gift cards from the poor and gifting herself. She did make national news and the Jay Leno cut. I felt sorry for her...I sent her a gift card for Christmas.

Micheline's Top 5 World Events both nationally and internationally for 2010 is - (not in order necessarily) 5) TSA Patdowns or Irradiation in U.S. Airports...nothing much to say, is there? 4) Health Care Law-Disorder-Prevarications about ObamaCare or is it ObamaScare? To ration or not ration, that is the question...oh, and don't forget this new End of Life monkey business that just surfaced at the 11th hour. 3) Chilean Miners Rescue-Haitian Earthquakes and the BP Oil Spill in the Gulf. 2) Republican takeover of the House and Throw Nancy from the Senate and replace her with a sensitive guy - John Boehner - The BooHoo Guy - Gosh, a sensitive man in politicks...I love it. 1) The WikiLeaks starring the Leaky Geek - Julian Assange - is it truth or is it fiction? Smoke 'n' mirrors? Misinformation at it's finest...nothing is what it seems...ever!

Micheline's Top 5 People - Dead or Alive - for 2010 is - 5) Carol Burnett, the brilliant comedic actress who mastered the art of being dysfunctional. 4) Lucille Ball who still makes the world laugh. Thank you Lucy...I Love Lucy...one of the funniest sitcoms ever. 3) Gilda Radner, the Saturday Night Live comedic actress of the 70's. "It's always something, if it's not one damn thing, it's another." Thank you Gilda! 2) Louise Hay, author of the international best-selling book - You Can Heal Your Life. She is essentially the Grande Dame of healing your life at a very deep level. The Queen of Affirmations - the Soul Queen. She has helped millions worldwide with her radio shows; books from her publication house and her magnificent persona. Thank you for your inspired work on the planet Louise! http://www.hayhouseradio.com/index.php 1) John & Denise Birger...my Mom & Dad...both in Spirit...who loved and cared for me...were the best teachers in my life... and who taught me the value of humor...Thank you Mom & Dad.

Have a wonderful and Prosperous 2011...and if you are looking for a new love in 2011 - wear brand new red underwear on January 1, 2011. The New Year will be wonderful...really it will. God, we can all breathe now...we made it through another decade...and another year. Wow, what an event...God Bless! And congrats to Hugh Heffner for his engagement on Christmas Day - I see lots of Viagra in his future...

Love

Micheline

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By

Micheline Birger

Imagine this...we are in a theatre...the curtain goes up...there is a man sobbing on the phone with his back to the audience...he speaks in broken cries..."Oh please Bill, please Bill...come and talk to my people...tell 'em...make 'em understand that I can be trusted...boohoo...boohoo...boohoo...and that I am willing to compromise...oh please Bill...please-please-please-Bill," bemoans Obama. "Talk some sense in them Bill...they don't like me anymore." He turns around to face the audience...big alligator teardrops fall from his big brown eyes.

Obama turns his back again to audience. He continues his song of woe. "Please come to unfunckle (my new made up word...meaning to debunk, unfurl, demystify, untangle) this new tax bill for me. I've got to get back on the saddle again...I am willing to compromise...really I am." In the background we hear the music from the famous jazz musician - Mose Allison - playing - Your Mind Is On Vacation But Your Mouth Is Working Overtime...and streamed in through the phone on the other line is the Coasters - Yakety Yak - Don't Talk Back. Obama turns to audience with an ear to ear grin. Curtain. Lights dim.

Yes, it is true...Billy Boy Clinton conceded and came to the rescue to help Obama clean up his spilt milk...his wet burp...help to change his messy diaper. "I don't like to compromise...after all, I am Prez-Big-Spender-In-Chief-Dude...and I never did play well in the sandbox with others"...Obama laments..."but thanks Bill...you are one of the greatest Presidents of all time...the country thrived with you in charge...you know, I think I am going to actually read your book...do you have an autographed copy that I could have...President Clinton? I must copy success...copy success..." Curtain down. Act of desperation completed...for now.

Moving on from one Big Wig to yet another Big Wig of sorts...we have Julian Assange...either the World loves him or totally detests him...the WikiLeaks Founder...from Australia - Mate - is he a Devil or Angel? Cop or Robber? Good or Evil? Cowboy or Indian? Saint or Sinner? Braveheart or Coward? Terrorist or Pacifist? Friend or Foe? And what is this nonsense in Sweden about his condom breaking while having consensual sex??? Sex by surprise...I guess we can call him The Leaky Geek...that's a great name for all of his Interpol adventures coming to you from the nearest cable in Cyberspace...

And we cannot forget about Sarah...the media-o-cracy loves to pick on Sarah, Inc; The Sarah; Sarah Palin-isms...whatever one would like to address her as...I just wonder why...the media-o-cracy programs the public to dislike and disdain her...why-why-why??? I asked a female septuagenarian why she disliked Sarah? She just said - "She's pathetic." Why? I pressed. "Because she says stupid things." Like what? Be specific...I said. "Oh, I don't know," she said.

I then quoted some Sarah-isms to her. "Some in the GOP establishment have a problem with me because I have been taking on the Good 'Ole Boy Network for a couple of decades now...some of the Good 'Ole Boys don't like that." On another occasion she spoke of the country rejecting Obama's agenda. "Obama sees America as the problem; I see America as the solution." On another occasion she said - "You thought pit bulls were tough? You don't want to mess with a Mama Grizzly." And, I ask, what is so stupid about any of these remarks??? They are sharp and insightful...to the point.

Another Sarah-ism is: "My positions are not at all controversial. The majority of Americans agree with me across the board on issues. I think that it is a personal thing that probably stems from the media demonetization and mischaracterization of what I stand for...shoot, if I really believed all that those guys write about me...I wouldn't like me either." She sounds exactly like Hillary when the Hill says - "I don't believe half of what I read." And neither do I...and I hope most folks don't either.

And speaking of folks from Alaska...apparently Tea Party Candidate Joe Miller who won the primary for state senator but lost the election to write-in candidate and incumbent Lisa Murkowski...well, another final answer to Joe is No-No-No from his hearing last week on who won...he's stewing and contemplating whether or not he will take the judgment to the State Supreme Court to appeal...as he sees it....there is still some details that need to be hashed out...but is it worth going to the nth degree??? Alaska is really cold this time of year...looks like Lisa won...she's going to Washington D.C. as State Senator...stay tuned...

So, it is back to politicks as usual...give back Bill Clinton his throne until re-election time rolls around...let him be Prez...but that ain't gonna happen...just wishful thinking that is on a lot of people's minds...the ultimate question still remains - who will beat the current Big-Spender-In-Chief??? Who will be the GOP frontman or frontwoman? We shall see...for a brief moment in time there was a glimmer of Political Sanity...temporary and fleeting at best...but when Bill speaks...all hopefully listened...he never left the podium.

Speaking of listening...the best quote of the year for a politician... goes to Christine O'Donnell and her "I Am Not a Witch" campaign slogan. This according to a Yale Librarian. Go Christine!!!

So the only sex scandal is Bad Boy Julian Assange in Sweden with his little leaky sex-a-pade...I guess he is singing the blues in his cell now - I'm Just a Leaky Geek From Australia - Yakety Yak - Don't Talk Back...

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Love

Micheline

By

Micheline Birger

Well, last week in the 'ze world of politicks as usual centered on our current Big-Spender-In-Chief globetrotting rustling up business for the US of A....we'll see if it makes a dent on the home front...zzzzzzzzzz....

Meanwhile, back in Alaska, there's a Texas-Hold-Em-Draw & Count...they don't have a defined, declared winner in the Senate race...is it Tea Party Candidate Joe Miller or incumbent Lisa Murkowski...I hope I spelled her name right...she was a write-in candidate...both insist that they won...she is not giving up her throne until the last ballot is counted...tit-for-tat...Alaska is still trying to figure out what intention vs. a real vote is...for all of the folks that couldn't spell her name right...apparently the name has to be spelled exactly like it is on the election registry...we shall see...we shall see...so they remain in character posturing and sucker-punching each other...if Mississippi lent her New Jersey - what would Delaware - I don't know I'll Alaska...

An old sex scandal resurfaced as a deep healing...revelation of sorts...for (R) Governor Mark Sanford (S.C.) & his affair with Don't Cry for Me Argentina - Maria Belan Chapur...she was his soul mate...he begged the public for their forgiveness & he got it. 70% of the folks thought he was a good gov...but it did cost him his marriage...now he's on a deep inner journey...is Maria still part of that journey??? Well...now he is a free man...true lovers will always find a way to be with each other if it is meant to be...his term is up after the New Year...so what he does now is whatever he does...

A gal named Lawless out of American University says -"There is something fundamentally wrong with a political system that elects such a small number of women when women constitutes such a majority of the population." Ya' think??? That's what I've been saying all along. Look at how the media-o-cracy crucifies the political women...Hilary; Meg; Sarah; Christine...I definitely want to see more women up there...it's about time...they can't bungle anything worse than what they guys have...sexism is alive and well in America...and yes, we gals have the power to alter politics simply because we outnumber the male population...so what's the problem?

So the Democratic Party is still a House Undecided & Divided on what to do with "The Nancy"...Nancy Pelosi that is...should they throw Nancy from the train...is she an asset...or is she herstory??? And on the Republican side, they think that Michael Steele needs to go...you know the guy who went around the US of A in the Fire Pelosi Bus...so it doesn't matter...'Dem Dems or Republicans...they are all in a flux...infighting and backbiting...you know...politicks as usual. And don't forget the meeting of the minds this week with all of the powers that be...in D.C....those still in...those going out...and all the new kids on the block...and their Lame Duck sessions....

The pollsters are already geared for 2012...who will beat the current Dude in the White House...Romney - Huckabee - Sarah??? Apparently it's leaning to the guy candidates...folks want to know whether Obama is re-electable? And is Hilary waiting in the wings???

Meanwhile, folks got stranded on a Carnival Cruise Line...they did serve them free drinks and airlifted Spam to them...did they all actually see a missile being launched off the coast of Southern California in their alcoholic hallucinations??? Or was it a mirage? Or am I getting my headlines mixed up???

Insightful quips heard on the air & in the air this past week were - Politicks is not pretty...there is no civility to politics...no one takes politics seriously...I must say that all this is true...how can we the little people take any of them seriously...watching all of these educated scholars resort to name-calling; accusations of all sorts; heresay and gossip. I heard this one older gal say that the only thing the government is good for is "collecting taxes and delivering the mail."

So we shall see what unfolds this week with this changing of the guard...Lame Duck Sit-Down Dinner-a-la-Food-Fight...in the meantime take the Zen approach to life - Just don't do something...stand there! And let them eat Spam!!!


Love,
Micheline

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By

Micheline Birger


'Twas the Nite before the election
and all through the House
the politicians were all sweating -
even Mickey Mouse...Squeak! Squeak!

Well, the Big Day arrives as promised tomorrow...or as Will Rogers once quipped - "More men have been elected between SunDown and SunUp than between SunUp and SunDown." I believe that we can all agree to disagree that watching this painful process is like watching a bad sitcom of a very dysfunctional family...all vying for power. It's been a brutal battle. "A political war is one where everyone shoots from the lip." Raymond Moley. "Every nation has the government that it deserves." Joseph Marie de Maistre (1753-1821) (The only race where most people pick the winner is an election) Enough said.

About sex scandals...really, just cheap shot attempts against the opposing party...so what else is new darling??? Yawn...there is an old affair - one that buoyed forth in a smear ad about Senator David Vitter (R) - happened in 2007...apparently he made calls to the D.C. Madam...he was in her Rolodex or something...he copped to his lack of judgement...he knows that he committed a serious sin...and he is likely to beat Melancon (D) in Louisiana...and then there was a negative blog that some guy was paid to write about Christine O'Donnell in her racy college daze...some guy by the name of Brad...it's unclear whether he was an old flame or just a bud...how infantile and desperate...

So the main issues loom larger than life...health care, illegal immigrants, the economy, war...what to do? What to do? And did you know that the U.N. Compound in the Big Apple is getting fumigated for yet a third term for bedbugs?...three is a charm.

Then there is all of these creepy-crawly stories about election fraud...and is Big Brother really keeping account of who is voting... Annie Get Your Gun...are they demanding I.D.'s...is it true that folks are registering as Donald Duck; Mickey Mouse; Genghis Khan; Jive Turkey; Dick Tracy; Karl Marx; Woody Woodpecker??? And are they really letting illegal immigrants vote in Prince George's County, Maryland??? Is it true? Is it true? Is it true that someone inadvertently, accidentally on purpose, sent 2000 ballots to the Cook County Jail for Illinois's finest to cast their vote? Meanwhile, back at the Frontline in the War Zones - customer service got the order messed up and didn't get the ballots out to the U.S. Servicemen and Women...you know the one's fighting for the U.S. of A?

And, by the way, is it true that McDonald's in Canton, Ohio...that employee's got a little note in their paychecks that said - "If the right people are elected, we will be able to continue with raises and benefits...at or above the current levels...if other's are elected we will not. Vote Republican."

Oh, and of course we can't forget the Prez of the Free World on Jon Stewart...you know the guy - President Dude? Hey Dude!!! And of course Jon and Steven Colbert's big shindig rally in D.C. on the 30th of October was extremely well attended...perhaps 150,000-200,000 showed up to that gala to Restore Sanity and/or Fear...I watched some of it live online...a stellar line-up of star power...Cat Stevens; The O'Jays; Ozzy Osbourne; Sam Waterston of Law & Order read Colbert's poem...Are You Sure? And former Saturday Night Live icon - Father Guido Sarducci made a surprise appearance to Bless the Event...

My "hit" on the whole event is a famous quote by from Clarence Darrow when he was speaking of Lincoln Steffens - "Everything serious he says is a joke and everything humorous he says is dead serious."

I loved some of the picket signs at the Event Rally. Leaders Lead - Not Bicker...Keep the Government Out of My Cauldron...I Doubt That This Sign Will Change Your Opinion.

Other clever witticisms in the air and on the air were - "The Democratic Party has gotten so bad that even the nominees are voting Republican." "A taxpayer voting Democrat is like a chicken voting for Col. Sanders." "Conservative women are all whores and bitches"...and if Nancy Pelosi is ousted she will either quit or retire...thar' she blows...Happy Trails to you until we meet again...Joyce Behar calls Sharron Angle a "bitch"...Sarah Palin is on the Today Show talking about the Great Alaskan Pipeline becoming a reality...

And last but not least, the current Commander-in-Chief...President Dude has spent the last week campaigning-jetting-campaigning-jetting...and two daze after the bloodbath election he has a Passage to India via a huge dog 'n' pony entourage...courtesy of the U.S. Taxpayer. He has booked the entire Taj Mahal Hotel...Michelle apparently will meet with sex workers there...and yes folks...we are paying for your opinion but please keep your opinions to yourself.

So sleep tight my friends...the party has only begun...who will be the last candidates standing? Will the Republicans take over the House and possibly the Senate??? 'Twas the night before the election and all through the House...now who? Who - Who - Who let the dogs out???

By

Micheline Birger


Eight more daze of this..."You can fool some of the people all the time; and all of the people some of the time but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time." Lincoln

The political Stupid-Bowl...bloodbath...Super-Bowl continues. Each party is poised like a viper making sure that they guard their turf...and catch the opportunity to out do each others shenanigans...and why shouldn't they? I would love to see all of the candidates dress up as Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! and Quack! Quack! Quack! Right back at ya'...throw in an occasional cock-a-doodle-doo! Jest for the Zen of it.

Or they could wear Bozo the Clown outfits with big red noses in their contrived face-offs. Each time one of them told a fib then their nose would grow...just like Pinocchio. The first one who's big red nose fell off is the biggest loser...

It seems like all of the hype is so superfluous to anything real...no wonder Dick Cheney & George Bush haven't come out to endorse anyone. They're probably sitting at home with the remote watching all of the Mud-Slugging and thinking - "Thank God I am done with that part of my life." I would love to know what they are thinking...feeling. Maybe they will come out of the woodwork at the 11th hour.

I think it is an interesting observation to watch a current President run around the country still campaigning. As President of the US of A, I would think he has more pressing matters. I can see a former popular Prez doing it...I wonder just how you market and package all of this "change?" This magic? And exactly why should we the people trust what any politician says???

I feel this undercurrent of a revolution going on in America. We want our politicians held accountable for every single dime of our tax dollars. We want a money back guarantee. Tit-for-Tat. We want to go and pound on the door at 0300 and say - "This is broke - give me different...we want proof...we want action...we want responsibility."

Some folks think that this "early voting" hype leaves too much room for error and foul play. And word has it that the servicemen overseas fighting still haven't received their ballots. How is it that a convicted felon has precedence over soldiers in combat...am I missing something here?

There was a hair, a sliver, of an old and tired sex scandal that emerged out of thin air this past week...the Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas Affair...of 19 years ago. Apparently Mrs. Thomas called Anita and asked her to apologize for accusing her hubby....the whole thing has ruined their life...well, it isn't going to happen...no they are not getting in the hot tub at 0400 to sing Kumbaya together...talk about a blast out of the past...and the blue.

So every one knows about Juan Williams of NPR getting canned...for his thinking out loud statement on air...about how he felt about flying...what's next...a device that's inserted under the skull so the Thought Police can track your thoughts??? The media is still scapegoating Christine O'Donnell for one thing or the other...evolution vs creationism...or whatever nonsense they can muster up for the sake of controversy...none of them were there so how does anyone really know...really now...they make her out as some airhead when in reality they took clips out of context...

There is a 15% approval rate for Nancy Pelosi...and as the Donald goes there goes the nation...apparently Donald Trump contributed $50,000 to a Karl Rove independent group - American Crossroads - a Republican outfit. I guess he can't wait until after the elections to say - "You're fired!" Maybe he can host a new Apprentice Show called "The Wannabee Politician". People could cast their votes via phone for the candidates of their choice.

I love this country. Only a country as insane as ours could be this outrageously popular on the planet. Now we have a new party in New York called - The Rent Is Too Damn High Party - for the governor's race. It's kind vague as to whether or not the founder, Jimmy McMillian is paying rent or not...we have the Aqua-Buddha in Kentucky...the Jon Stewart & Steven Colbert rally in Washington D.C. Oct. 30...ads choreographed by professional dancers demonstrating how the candidates "dance around issues." I think I will start my own party and call it - The You've Got to be Kidding Party - why not? I have no idea what I would run for but it would be a hoot discovering what could come from it...

So, last but not least, former Surgeon General, Joycelyn Elders thinks that the US ought to legalize marijuana. She's probably sitting at home with her remote watching this election tea party mania. She's probably thinking out loud or even singing that song by Bob Dylan...Everybody Must Get Stoned...

So the Vaudevillian circus of American Politicks crusades onwards and upwards...the Republicans are absolutely sure that they will nail Congress and perhaps the Senate...the Democrats absolutely sure that they will stay in power...and we shall soon see...who will be here today and gone tamale...or Don't Worry Be Happy...the election process hasn't even got to a full boil yet...little public nuances are continuously erupting like - how come Senator Harry Reid lives at the Ritz Carlton in D.C. and 15% of his state is unemployed???

Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. Just who will be the last candidates standing? The 8 day countdown continues...Blue or Red??? Most folks just want to see more Green - as in $$$. And that my friends is the bottom line. Show me - us the money...either that or you're fired. You didn't do your job right. Forget about the weak words of "getting fired up and politicks as usual." I do believe that the real battle will begin after Election Day...and who exactly is counting the votes? And why should, We, I trust them?

Pardon me for my childlike wonder in politicks. I am just an armchair observer. I would love to see the day when I don't feel so jaded and cynical by all of this off-the-wall-smoke 'n' mirrors-political-hoedown-showdown...I'm casting my vote with Dial-A-Prayer for the best folks to win for the greatest good...

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Love,
Micheline

By

Micheline Birger


15 more daze...I am oh so bored with this Mid-Term Election...I spend half my energy trying to discern what all this political jargon and rhetoric is - Rubber Stamp Democrat; Bull Dog Democrat & Democrats defecting from voting for Nancy Pelosi...Democrats against voting for Obama Health Care...

Then on the Republican side...we have Republicans and then the Tea Party Republicans. I am spun out trying to keep up with what all of this means...or doesn't mean for that matter. Sometimes I feel like I live in the Divided States of America...but that is just the way it is. I certainly have to accept that for the moment. Where is the love? Just where is the heart? Where is that - A Tree Grows in Brooklyn - inspiration...

I guess it kind of goes to Chile...and the world responding to their miners...and the joint efforts of folks transcending politicks to rescue these workers a half-mile deep in the bowels of the earth. Hooray! Something the world was finally in unity with...and yes, then there was the miner's wife who didn't greet her hubby buried deep down under after he was rescued because she found out about his mistress...love does eclipse international borders, doesn't it? Especially love affairs...

Apparently the US of A is about $13.5 trillion in the hole...each new babe born in the US now owes Uncle Sam $43-44,000 dollars just for being born! Amazing, isn't it? This enlightening fact according to the Senator elect from Illinois, Mark Kirk, Republican. I guess Uncle Sam will be in the delivery room handing the bill over before the babe can have his or her first cry. Well, now they will have something to cry about.

It seems that Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin and Obama have something in common. They are all distantly related. Wouldn't it be a hoot to be a fly on the wall at their next family reunion? It could be on Love Boat. It would be hosted by Della Reese, star of Touched by an Angel. As Einstein said in his theory of relativity...it's all relatives. Wouldn't that be a fun party? Tea...anyone???

There is a lot of desperation going on in the political agenda. The name calling and the spin-control just keeps getting more out of control with all kinds of rumors floating around. Gossip, heresay against each party. Buzzes like - who is funding these races? Foreigners? And if so - whom??? Is it China? Dem Dems say the Republicans are getting foreign money. And funny enough, that is what the Republicans are saying about Dem Dems. Einstein was right..."for each action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

It seems to me that politicks is fueled by emotionalism...or in some cases, severe apathy. Believers of the current regime are now defecting to the other side...or so it is reported. I don't know. Just like Hilary Clinton says - "I don't believe half of what I read." And neither do I because it is all designed to make us confused anyway. I would venture to say that I do not believe anything that I read because I don't understand the process. It's all conjecture.

Chris Coons (D) Christine O'Donnell (R) had their little Senatorial debate in Delaware. Christine asserted basically that she wasn't born with the silver spoon up her ___. She said that she "wasn't a trust fund baby and she didn't go to Yale." She told Chris that he was jealous because he didn't make the Saturday Night Live cut and she did. Chris's response was - "I wonder who would play me."

Jerry apologized to Meg in California for someone calling her a "whore" from his campaign. Meg was gracious enough that she just laughed it off. Her agenda is crystal clear as a past CEO of EBAY - it is to create jobs & get folks back to work in the state of California. It is not to expand the size of government and have them control everything. Someone once said - "A nation that governs less, governs best." I don't know exactly where that came from...but you get the point. It was filtered down to me through the aethers.

There is a lot of Republican Women out there going for the political gold. Christine vs. Chris in Delaware. Sharron vs. Harry in Nevada. Meg vs. Jerry in California. Carly Fiorina (R) vs. Barbara Boxer (D) in California. And now there is yet another new straight-talking Republican Star on the block. A no nonsense gal by the name of Kristi Noem, running for Congress. She is coined as the Sarah Palin of S. Dakota. She has already raised an impressive $1.1 mill for her campaign. Another gal who refuses to stay home and watch Martha Stewart while ironing and yelling at the TV. She is not shouting - "Why doesn't someone do something about this insanity?" She's out making a difference.

Everybody is sweating out this election. Michael Steele of the Republican National Committee and Sarah Palin spoke at a hotel in Southern California to supporters. They were near Disneyland. How Hollywood can you get??? They were busy rustling up votes for Meg and Carly. Michael is touring the country in his - Fire Pelosi Bus.

From what I understand, and correct me if I am wrong...remember, I am just a lay person...if the Republicans win, that means that Nancy Pelosi is out, finished, kaput as Speaker of the House. You know, that Nancy who thinks that Food Stamps is an economic stimulus for the U.S.? Yes, that Nancy.

Obama and his Lady were in Ohio on Sunday. Doesn't a Prez have better things to do than still be campaigning not even two years into his administration? I don't know, it would seem that he could stay home on Sunday and rest on his laurels momentarily. He asserts, or someone in the Democratic Party asserts that - "The Republicans are counting on black folks staying home on election day." Anyway, it's his time, I don't know who's money, his energy. If that is how he chooses to spend his Sunday, then that is entirely up to him. It's just an interesting observation in all of this hullabaloo of this Spit Ball Mania.

Billy Boy Clinton and Jerry Brown have kissed and made-up. Metaphorically speaking of course. Apparently former Prez Clinton showed up unexpectedly to support Jerry at one of his functions. They hugged. They healed a riff they have had for years when they were both running for President at the same time or something like that. Truly, I am touched.

Oh, and I cannot forget, there is a new film out called I Want Your Money by filmmaker Griggs. He is described as a "right wing conservative"...he calls Obama a Socialist. It is supposed to be a humorous or humorless twist on Reagonomics vs. Obamanomics. He did not disclose where he got his private funding. Good for him. Don't let 'em see ya sweat. Another Michael Moore in the making.

Well, sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me; be obscure clearly; Stop the Insanity; liberal men are sexists; Woman on Top; sound bytes vs. sound solutions; Red or Blue Party?...I am on the edge of my seat watching the greatest show on earth...this Barnum and Bailey Circus...who will...I wonder...just who will be - the last candidate standing? The Free World is not free, it's very expensive...and it gets more expensive all the time.

The thing that makes it most intriguing is that most people, you know, you and me...according to CNN...we, we the little people common folk - think that both parties are going about this Mid-Term Erection/Election process the wrong way. I guess we the people have spoken or misspoken...according to who you talk to. 15 more grueling days...I am already twittering from TMI - too much information or misinformation...trying to discern just how much is true....Twick or Tweet...Ciao for now!


Look me up on Amazon for all of my books.

Love,

Micheline

By

Micheline Birger

I am still so-so---so disappointed in this YouTube Politicks - War of the Sexes Mid-Term Election/Erection bloodbath. Not one decent sex scandal has emerged from the aethers...yet. Even in this post Woman's Lib era & all, it is reported that 85% of men think they please their lady into orgasm yet only 65% of women seem to agree...Ti's so sad...women are still faking orgasm so they can please their man...they don't want to bruise their egos...this according to Sari Locker, author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex...just goes to prove my point...Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life.

The only thing that could remotely pass as a sex scandal is Jerry Brown allegedly calling Meg Whitman a "whore." What a sexist remark! What is the equivalent of a male whore? A hustler? A male-chauvinist pig? Somehow it doesn't sound quite as insulting and demeaning...come on all you children who sing world peace and all of that Kumbaya stuff...first off - it would be nice if you find peace with each other...just a thought.

Sharron Angle, another Republican chick hopeful from Nevada, who came from nowhere, is getting her voice heard loud and clear. Apparently she is running an ad in Nevada saying that Harry Reid voted for the government to pay for Viagra for convicted sex offenders??? Am I missing something here??? Why would anyone in their right mind vote for that? How perverse...it's kind of like a sex scandal except it's against society...doesn't Harry know that the drug of choice is Depo-Provera. You know, it lessens those impulses for all of that testosterone...go Sharron.

And of course the government is giving stimulus money to dead people and prison inmates...another computer glitch I surmise...somehow this wonderful snafu was to the tune of $22,250,000. Let's see - 89,000 X $250 = millions of dollars...just how do dead folks spend money from the grave? And what constitutes giving inmates money? I guess it's mugs and squares money...and who distributes these stimulus programs???

Of course we can't leave out Rick Sanchez calling Jon Stewart "a Bigot...and all of the media is run by Jews"...I have one question for you Rick...did or did not your paycheck clear the bank? What's that saying called - Don't bite the hand that feeds you or something like that???

The media is still having a field day with Christine O'Donnell and her - I Am You - ad. I say...so what??? She has brass b___s and brawn. She is yet another woman on the planet who is sickened about what is going on in the US of A of politicks. At least she has the heart and soul not to back down - no matter what! Bravo! And no, she is not a witch...and who really cares what her stance is or is not about masturbation...really now! That's so personal.

Radio icon, Rush Limbaugh called "The Anointed One", our current Commander-in-Chief, a "jackass" over the airwaves. He had an irate caller phone in on his show who was very insulted by his remark. Apparently this woman had a farm and raised jackasses. She was insulted because she said that "jackasses were smart animals".

Another of Obama's cabinet quit or was it defected?...the head of National Security, James Jones for obscure reasons...I guess he got tired of all the "hand to hand combat in D.C."...you know, politicks as usual???

All of these Independents, are they all secret operatives or something? Are they really for one party or the other? Is someone secretly funding their campaign so it lessens the vote for one party or the other...something to think about...

From my biased female apolitical perspective, I am so happy to see all of these gals stepping up to the plate and kicking major butt. It's about time. Isn't leadership where it is at? They're just like that Nancy Reagan slogan - Just Say No! - soundbyte. They are saying No to the status quo. They are "mad as he__" and not taking it anymore. They are not at home folding laundry and yelling at the TV. They are not saying - Why doesn't someone do something? They are proactive role models. Go Girls Go!!!

It seems - according to CNN - that the current Commander-in-Chief's popularity is decreasing. Ya' think? His approval is rounding around 45%. 52% disapprove and 3% are undecided. You mean, according to we the people, he's not as popular as he thinks he is??? Another man who's a legend in his own mind or is he just blatantly narcissistic? You decide...

That's my take for the past week. 22 more days until E-Day...November 2. Who will be the last politician standing? I must admit that I love the process. I love it because I don't understand it. As someone famous once said - "politics is not an exact science." I think most sheep vote for someone or the other just because they can vote. In actuality they really do not know why they are voting. My definition of politicks besides total insanity is; "Keep the poor-poor. Keep the rich-rich. And justify to those in the middle why they have to pay for it."

The race is just getting started now. It hasn't even begun it's momentum yet...stay tuned for "Help I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up or Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall...and then had a great fall, and all of the King's horses and all of the King's men couldn't put Humpty-Dumpty back together again" or something like that. I guess we can just all drink some tea and watch the greatest show on earth...politicks is not personal...is it? Ciao for now!

By

Micheline Birger



I'm still waiting for the Sex Scandal 29 days before the Mid-Term Elections. I don't know if anyone else has noticed besides myself that we have a lot of disgruntled voters and politicos out there. Everyone thinks they have "The Answer". George Burns was right - "How come everyone who knows how to run the country is busy either driving cabs or cutting hair?" Everyone 'cept the politicians...they all know how to get "on course" and not deviate. Economics, jobs, health, education,crime, national and international security, diplomatic relations - whew - I'm exhausted. I need some comic relief amongst all of this cacophony.

Well, former Governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, is back in the saddle again. Or is it back on the saddle again? Whatever! You remember, the guy who wanted to clean up New York but got caught with Call Girl #9, a wannabe singer? That Eliot Spitzer. Well is little affaire de la coeur (affair of the heart) girlfriend profited from this exposure by having her songs downloaded more than 100,000 times at .99 cents a pop. Only in America. Sex does sell, doesn't it?

Anyway, he is a born-again, reformed man. He's got a gig co-hosting yet another Talking Head Show with Kathleen Parker, a Pulitzer Prize winning columnist. Kathleen is the Star. Yeah! Woman on top! I think they call her a "liberal conservative" whatever that is. You figure it out. I can't.

Jerry Brown and Meg Whitman are deep in their mud-wrestling for their governorship of the Great State of California. Meg is being crucified, stoned, and hung on the cross by her past Hispanic maid of 9 years. I don't know, something to the effect that the maid was never legal or something. "'Splain yourself out of that one Lucy." But underneath all of that hoopla the real question remains. That is whether or not the voters are angry enough at 'dem Dems for spending so much dough since they've been in office. And...are they, the voters, willing to switch over to overthrow the current regime???

Hilary Clinton is not running for Prez in 2012. I guess that is why a dentist from Illinois has paid for an ad for her that has already aired in New Orleans. Hill for Prez in 2012. Her slogan - Where there's a Hill, there's a way! Apparently the ads are going to be placed in LA, New York, Washington and possibly Houston. That's what they call "strategerie" for someone who denies zero interest or the intention to be dragged through the political coals - once again. I must hand it to all of these woman politico's - regardless of their party - Hooray! They all have guts and brawn!

I guess if there is some sexual tension in this race, it is with the women running for office. They claim that the media is biased, sexist and that the women candidates whine too much because it appears that the almighty media plays the gender card way too much. Gosh, as a female observer, watching this whole fiasco, my immediate knee-jerk reaction is - Ya' think? If it walks like a turkey, and talks turkey, then it's turkey, isn't it?

Of course it is true. When equally qualified folks are vying for power slots, it brings out the best and the worst of them, doesn't it? That is what makes them whole and alive. We need street-fighting chicks getting their stronghold in the political system. Isn't that what America is about? Or, am I missing something? Please let me know.

Apparently Christine O'Donnell and her masturbation comment was misconstrued erroneously. Ha! Christine sees masturbation as adultery. What??? Am I missing something? Who and what are they committing adultery with? And really, what does it matter? In the grander scheme of things...

Rahm Emmanuel, the White House Chief of Staff, stepped down from his post to go be 'da Mayor of crime-ridden corrupt Chicago. His replacement, Peter Mouse likes cats. He's going to be the new Chief of Staff. Oh, I'm so sorry, I stand to be corrected - Peter Rouse...somehow I like Mouse better. You know, everything in politicks and in life is one big cat and mouse game anyway.

Jon Stewart is "saddened by Obama"; Obama is barnstorming in backyared politicks trying to rustle up votes for the Mid-Terms...and the great Stupid-Bowl er SuperBowl of politics a la Americaino continues. And I love every single moment of it. I write about it because I know nothing about it. Is there any other reason on the planet to write about it? I don't think so. But, I tell ya', just one itty-bitty, juicy sex scandal would definitely liven things up. Don't you think? The heat is on!

See my book, Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life

http://www.buybooksontheweb.com/product.aspx?ISBN=0-7414-2890-3

By

Micheline Birger


It was the height of the Clinton-Monica brouhaha scandal. Sometime in '98. No one could breathe; open a paper; turn on the radio or watch the news without hearing or reading about the Prez having a little nookie in the Oral Office. So what! I thought. So what! Other political leaders, especially in Europe, always had mistresses. It wasn't a moralistic secret. It just was. Part of life. No big deal. In France especially. They thought the whole affair was the laughingstock of the world. The Prez of the Free World; the US of A. Virile. Charismatic. And a lover! What a powerful combination! The country was doing economically great, so what's the problem? Humph!

Anyway, but anyway, I attended an art opening in July in North Beach with a man. We had a mutually agreed upon contrived relationship. We decided to hang out together so he could meet other women. He felt if other women saw him with an attractive gal then he wouldn't appear as a loser. He treated me like fine wine. Always a gentleman to the core. We'd run around town on his tab; have a hoot and a holler and a whopping good time. I really wasn't into him so the arrangement suited us perfectly for the moment. I had a handsome ladies man escort and he had eye candy to strut around with. A win-win situation. We just wanted to have fun. Other women could see that he wasn't a jerk because if he didn't make this Queen Bee happy then I would drop him like a hot potato. He loved being a legend in his own mind.

Anyway, at one of our outings, I met Professor Annette Lust at an art opening in North Beach. We chatted. I love San Francisco. The natives are oh so friendly there. They really want to know who you are. Anyway, I told her that I was a writer. She then told me that I had to write a play for her one-act play festival at Dominican University in San Raphael. A play? I was an aspiring screenplay writer. I wouldn't know what and where to even start thinking about to write "a play." A one-act play nonetheless.

So over the course of the next several months I would run into her at other art openings in the city. She would boldly come up to me and ask where "her play" was. My trigger response was - "I don't do plays." Period. End of statement. I would get agitated. Upset. Who in the h___ is this woman creature demanding that I write a play for her play festival. Finally, after about 3-4 months of this constant badgering I began, at least, to entertain the thought of writing a one-act play. But what would I write about? Just what on earth would I write about?

I was saturated like everyone else with the constant heaviness of the Clinton-Monica hoopla. I would laugh. The whole thing was so ridiculous. The man is a politician - not a saint or the Pope. Monica captured him - heart and soul. I would think about all of my woman friends...all of their affairs...all of my affairs. How we all lied about our sex life. So what was the big deal with Billy Boy? Certain things must remain private. What is the point in making a federal case out of a little love in the Oral Office? What an infantile media we have! Tch! Tch! Alas! An idea was conceived.

If I were to write a one-act play, I would call it Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life. OK, but where do I go from there? Ah, yes, two gals dialoguing about their latest love affair gone awry. Ah, it wasn't working. When I tried writing it, it just wasn't going anywhere. I fell asleep with the two of them whining about their sex life. Zzzzz... I then remembered what a writing teacher once said; "Go to place where you normally don't go to write and write there." So I went to the San Francisco Hilton Hotel...you know...right in the heart of the 'Loin District. I had a small notebook. I sat in the front lobby. Bustling. International. I continued with the two gals talking about how they have always lied about their sex life. The dialogue was flat. It couldn't be resuscitated. Dead! It just wasn't going. Nowhere.

Then a Force, a Muse came to me. It threw another gal character into the mixture. Then their names echoed in my ear clear as day. April, May & June. All three writers. All 30-40 something. All ex-college roommates. All had gone their separate ways after college. Then by divine happenstance, the Universe threw them back together again in Cutting Edge City, USA. All had relationships that dissolved.

April was the straight one. She was a New Age magazine editor. She was totally in love with Bill Clinton. Both of her ex-husbands went gay. Then there was May...a lesbian erotic fiction writer. She also happened to be a Republican. Then June appeared - a bisexual comedy writer. "Why be bipartisan when you can be bisexual?" Alas! Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life was birthed! I wrote the play in about three hours after that revelation. It just kind of wrote itself after that moment of clarity. All I needed was the right angle! Yahoo!

They accepted the play at Dominican...the uppity Catholic university and all. What a hoot! I directed the play. People laughed at lines I didn't even write to be funny. But they came out funny thanks to my wonderful actors - Carolyn Gregory who played April; Catz Forsman who played May and Jean Mullis who played June.

I remember the audience's comments to me as the playwright. A 60-70 something woman from Marin asked me if I sent the script to Saturday Night Live??? A 14 year old adolescent male asked me if I planned to make a series out of it??? Whattt??? I wasn't even there in my thinking - yet. Hey, I was just happy that I wrote something that was timely and that people laughed at without canned laugh tracks. A series? Saturday Night Live? Wow!

Anyway, I did write about 11 or more one-acts with my three characters - April, May & June - using the politicks du jour as the backdrop to their sexual insights and escapades. Wouldn't it be nice if I created a producer who is actually serious about making it into a series? I had all of these chick-lit essays and poems that I had written throughout the years. I put the plays; essays and poems in a book called Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life. (The Vagina Whine-O-Logues) One of the essays was also made into a play called - If Her Purse Could Talk. This was produced in 2oo7 at Dominican also.

Since that time era of the Clinton/Monica fiasco there have been numerous other sex scandals in politics. Who needs reality shows when you have politics as the best reality show ever? The Congressman from the Mid-West who did the toe-tapping in the men's room of airports...but really now? Then the past governor of New York - Eliot Spitzer - who got defrocked...it just behooves me that these women in these scandals have all profited immensely from their taste in married men...maybe that is my new job on the planet...to run for some type of political office or have an affair with a politician...just think - I could wear teeny-tiny little Navy Blue dresses from the Gap; I could start my own online purse company and then become a "cultural attache" for the BBC. Heck, the girl - #9 - in Eliot Spitzer's world, a wannabe singer, had her songs downloaded more that 100,000 times at .99 cents a pop...but anyhow...that was then and now is now.

The saga continues. Everybody is still lying about their sex life. We've got a new Prez who has promised everything and has delivered nothing. Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose, or the more things change, the more things remain the same. So now we are globally caught up in the "Great Recession". The US of A is undergoing yet another political maelstrom. Ye Gods, are we all flying by the seats of our pants? Is the whole world falling apart only to idealistically come together? Is everything really going to H___ in a handbasket??? Or is it all just smoke & mirrors???

There is one thing that remains constant amongst all of this change. And that is - Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life. Everybody...except me...I don't have one, by choice, so there is nothing to lie about. So what, a lot of folks don't have one either. I love to quote Glenda Jackson when she talks about acting. "The important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry. When I have to laugh, I think about my sex life. When I have to cry, I think about my sex life." Or Woody Allen when he quips about sex. "I'm a practicing heterosexual but bisexuality doubles my chance for a date on Saturday night."

This is my Hello to my new column. I have no idea what to write about but I write anyway. Somebody will find it entertaining besides me I hope.

If interested in purchasing the book - Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life - follow link below. It can also be purchased on Amazon; Barnes & Noble online; and Border's online. Ciao for now!

http://www.buybooksontheweb.com/product.aspx?ISBN=0-7414-2890-3

Love ya'
Micheline