'Twas the Nite Before the Election...& Still No Sex Scandal...Yet!!!
By
Micheline Birger
'Twas the Nite before the election
and all through the House
the politicians were all sweating -
even Mickey Mouse...Squeak! Squeak!
Well, the Big Day arrives as promised tomorrow...or as Will Rogers once quipped - "More men have been elected between SunDown and SunUp than between SunUp and SunDown." I believe that we can all agree to disagree that watching this painful process is like watching a bad sitcom of a very dysfunctional family...all vying for power. It's been a brutal battle. "A political war is one where everyone shoots from the lip." Raymond Moley. "Every nation has the government that it deserves." Joseph Marie de Maistre (1753-1821) (The only race where most people pick the winner is an election) Enough said.
About sex scandals...really, just cheap shot attempts against the opposing party...so what else is new darling??? Yawn...there is an old affair - one that buoyed forth in a smear ad about Senator David Vitter (R) - happened in 2007...apparently he made calls to the D.C. Madam...he was in her Rolodex or something...he copped to his lack of judgement...he knows that he committed a serious sin...and he is likely to beat Melancon (D) in Louisiana...and then there was a negative blog that some guy was paid to write about Christine O'Donnell in her racy college daze...some guy by the name of Brad...it's unclear whether he was an old flame or just a bud...how infantile and desperate...
So the main issues loom larger than life...health care, illegal immigrants, the economy, war...what to do? What to do? And did you know that the U.N. Compound in the Big Apple is getting fumigated for yet a third term for bedbugs?...three is a charm.
Then there is all of these creepy-crawly stories about election fraud...and is Big Brother really keeping account of who is voting... Annie Get Your Gun...are they demanding I.D.'s...is it true that folks are registering as Donald Duck; Mickey Mouse; Genghis Khan; Jive Turkey; Dick Tracy; Karl Marx; Woody Woodpecker??? And are they really letting illegal immigrants vote in Prince George's County, Maryland??? Is it true? Is it true? Is it true that someone inadvertently, accidentally on purpose, sent 2000 ballots to the Cook County Jail for Illinois's finest to cast their vote? Meanwhile, back at the Frontline in the War Zones - customer service got the order messed up and didn't get the ballots out to the U.S. Servicemen and Women...you know the one's fighting for the U.S. of A?
And, by the way, is it true that McDonald's in Canton, Ohio...that employee's got a little note in their paychecks that said - "If the right people are elected, we will be able to continue with raises and benefits...at or above the current levels...if other's are elected we will not. Vote Republican."
Oh, and of course we can't forget the Prez of the Free World on Jon Stewart...you know the guy - President Dude? Hey Dude!!! And of course Jon and Steven Colbert's big shindig rally in D.C. on the 30th of October was extremely well attended...perhaps 150,000-200,000 showed up to that gala to Restore Sanity and/or Fear...I watched some of it live online...a stellar line-up of star power...Cat Stevens; The O'Jays; Ozzy Osbourne; Sam Waterston of Law & Order read Colbert's poem...Are You Sure? And former Saturday Night Live icon - Father Guido Sarducci made a surprise appearance to Bless the Event...
My "hit" on the whole event is a famous quote by from Clarence Darrow when he was speaking of Lincoln Steffens - "Everything serious he says is a joke and everything humorous he says is dead serious."
I loved some of the picket signs at the Event Rally. Leaders Lead - Not Bicker...Keep the Government Out of My Cauldron...I Doubt That This Sign Will Change Your Opinion.
Other clever witticisms in the air and on the air were - "The Democratic Party has gotten so bad that even the nominees are voting Republican." "A taxpayer voting Democrat is like a chicken voting for Col. Sanders." "Conservative women are all whores and bitches"...and if Nancy Pelosi is ousted she will either quit or retire...thar' she blows...Happy Trails to you until we meet again...Joyce Behar calls Sharron Angle a "bitch"...Sarah Palin is on the Today Show talking about the Great Alaskan Pipeline becoming a reality...
And last but not least, the current Commander-in-Chief...President Dude has spent the last week campaigning-jetting-campaigning-jetting...and two daze after the bloodbath election he has a Passage to India via a huge dog 'n' pony entourage...courtesy of the U.S. Taxpayer. He has booked the entire Taj Mahal Hotel...Michelle apparently will meet with sex workers there...and yes folks...we are paying for your opinion but please keep your opinions to yourself.
So sleep tight my friends...the party has only begun...who will be the last candidates standing? Will the Republicans take over the House and possibly the Senate??? 'Twas the night before the election and all through the House...now who? Who - Who - Who let the dogs out???
Micheline Birger
'Twas the Nite before the election
and all through the House
the politicians were all sweating -
even Mickey Mouse...Squeak! Squeak!
Well, the Big Day arrives as promised tomorrow...or as Will Rogers once quipped - "More men have been elected between SunDown and SunUp than between SunUp and SunDown." I believe that we can all agree to disagree that watching this painful process is like watching a bad sitcom of a very dysfunctional family...all vying for power. It's been a brutal battle. "A political war is one where everyone shoots from the lip." Raymond Moley. "Every nation has the government that it deserves." Joseph Marie de Maistre (1753-1821) (The only race where most people pick the winner is an election) Enough said.
About sex scandals...really, just cheap shot attempts against the opposing party...so what else is new darling??? Yawn...there is an old affair - one that buoyed forth in a smear ad about Senator David Vitter (R) - happened in 2007...apparently he made calls to the D.C. Madam...he was in her Rolodex or something...he copped to his lack of judgement...he knows that he committed a serious sin...and he is likely to beat Melancon (D) in Louisiana...and then there was a negative blog that some guy was paid to write about Christine O'Donnell in her racy college daze...some guy by the name of Brad...it's unclear whether he was an old flame or just a bud...how infantile and desperate...
So the main issues loom larger than life...health care, illegal immigrants, the economy, war...what to do? What to do? And did you know that the U.N. Compound in the Big Apple is getting fumigated for yet a third term for bedbugs?...three is a charm.
Then there is all of these creepy-crawly stories about election fraud...and is Big Brother really keeping account of who is voting... Annie Get Your Gun...are they demanding I.D.'s...is it true that folks are registering as Donald Duck; Mickey Mouse; Genghis Khan; Jive Turkey; Dick Tracy; Karl Marx; Woody Woodpecker??? And are they really letting illegal immigrants vote in Prince George's County, Maryland??? Is it true? Is it true? Is it true that someone inadvertently, accidentally on purpose, sent 2000 ballots to the Cook County Jail for Illinois's finest to cast their vote? Meanwhile, back at the Frontline in the War Zones - customer service got the order messed up and didn't get the ballots out to the U.S. Servicemen and Women...you know the one's fighting for the U.S. of A?
And, by the way, is it true that McDonald's in Canton, Ohio...that employee's got a little note in their paychecks that said - "If the right people are elected, we will be able to continue with raises and benefits...at or above the current levels...if other's are elected we will not. Vote Republican."
Oh, and of course we can't forget the Prez of the Free World on Jon Stewart...you know the guy - President Dude? Hey Dude!!! And of course Jon and Steven Colbert's big shindig rally in D.C. on the 30th of October was extremely well attended...perhaps 150,000-200,000 showed up to that gala to Restore Sanity and/or Fear...I watched some of it live online...a stellar line-up of star power...Cat Stevens; The O'Jays; Ozzy Osbourne; Sam Waterston of Law & Order read Colbert's poem...Are You Sure? And former Saturday Night Live icon - Father Guido Sarducci made a surprise appearance to Bless the Event...
My "hit" on the whole event is a famous quote by from Clarence Darrow when he was speaking of Lincoln Steffens - "Everything serious he says is a joke and everything humorous he says is dead serious."
I loved some of the picket signs at the Event Rally. Leaders Lead - Not Bicker...Keep the Government Out of My Cauldron...I Doubt That This Sign Will Change Your Opinion.
Other clever witticisms in the air and on the air were - "The Democratic Party has gotten so bad that even the nominees are voting Republican." "A taxpayer voting Democrat is like a chicken voting for Col. Sanders." "Conservative women are all whores and bitches"...and if Nancy Pelosi is ousted she will either quit or retire...thar' she blows...Happy Trails to you until we meet again...Joyce Behar calls Sharron Angle a "bitch"...Sarah Palin is on the Today Show talking about the Great Alaskan Pipeline becoming a reality...
And last but not least, the current Commander-in-Chief...President Dude has spent the last week campaigning-jetting-campaigning-jetting...and two daze after the bloodbath election he has a Passage to India via a huge dog 'n' pony entourage...courtesy of the U.S. Taxpayer. He has booked the entire Taj Mahal Hotel...Michelle apparently will meet with sex workers there...and yes folks...we are paying for your opinion but please keep your opinions to yourself.
So sleep tight my friends...the party has only begun...who will be the last candidates standing? Will the Republicans take over the House and possibly the Senate??? 'Twas the night before the election and all through the House...now who? Who - Who - Who let the dogs out???
Labels: Jon Stewart, Mid-Term Elections; sex scandals, political satire, Republican Women, Steven Colbert