Two Turkeys Avoid TSA PatDowns As America's Sex Shellacking Continues Ad Nauseum Refudiating the Grate American Patdown...America's Biggest Public Sex Scandal To Date... Dial-A-Prayer Politicks & Still No Sex Scandal...Yet! Political Spit Ball Mania & Still No Sex Scandal Yet... Women Are Still Faking Orgasm...Other Political Topics at Mid-Term Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life - Hello!

By

Micheline Birger

Well, Apple and Cider, bypassed airport PatDowns...and they didn't get nuked flying into D.C. from Modesto, California...courtesy of the US Taxpayer...nor did they get a "shellacking" for Thanksgiving Day...instead they received a full Presidential Pardon so they can live in the political capital of the world...by the way...Apple and Cider are turkeys...gobble...gobble...gobble...

Prez Dude took another shellacking playing basketball on Friday...had to get 12 stitches in his lip...I guess he will be lisping at his next TelePrompter speech...I hear he will be taking ventriloquist lessons...and getting a cute dummy to do his talks...

Joe Miller, (R), who won the Senate primary in Alaska for the Tea Party is still contesting his shellacking by incumbent Lisa Murkowski (R)...still no word what the final answer is...I guess it's not over until the fat lady sings...it's kind of leaning towards Lisa...

Rahm Emmanual, former White House Chief of Staff, is getting his own shellacking in Hometown Chicago...apparently he rented out his Chicago house to a real estate industrialist/entrepreneur who has a lease on the house until 2011...Rahm asked him to break it so he could move back in and he refused...he doesn't feel like moving out...yet...and the quirk is that since Rahm wasn't/isn't an official resident of Chicago because he rented out his house while in D.C. he is no longer considered a resident of Chicago and legally cannot run for 'Da Mayor...and to top it off, his tenant who has absolutely no experience in politicks is running for 'Da Mayor...I see lots of legal battles in their future...

So the new Political Theatre that is emerging is a party called the No Labels Party...not too far left and not to far right...they're Centrist Dems and Republicans...and their common thread is bi-partisanship...apparently Mayor Mike Bloomberg of 'ze Big Apple is kind of...sort of...the unofficial head of it...as an Independent...sounds like the Can't We Just All Get Along Party to me...

Apparently the anticipated opting-out of the TSA pat-downs was more of a let-down this weekend...a gal did wear a bikini going through the line in the LA Airport...I guess folks just didn't want to rabble-rouse...just go from point A to B...just let the U.S. Government irradiate and feel you up on your way to Grandma's...what is the alternative to not flying anymore??? That's what some pundits are calling incrementalization...another new word...

We are becoming a nation of sheep...we are all so ardent and passionate about all of our causes...perhaps our next cause ought to be saving our own souls from Pat-Downs and Irradiation...what else is next...total cavity searches to board a commercial plane? We all need to stand-up and not sit-down flipping the remote and screaming at the TV...Why doesn't someone do something about this total insanity....Stop the Insanity!!! You know, it is not OK, it really isn't...

What happened to the Spirit of America? Rugged Individualism? You know the grit that makes the outrageous U.S. of A. such a smashing success? A world super power... Are we becoming wimps? Fearful to stand up for our rights...or are we just giving our power to a government that flies out turkeys from Modesto, California courtesy of our hard earned tax dollar...just to think...two turkeys from Modesto were the only ones who didn't get shellacked this past Turkey Daze...


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By

Micheline Birger

Don't Ask - Don't Tell has now hit airline travel. They now have three lines for Pat-Downs. Gay - Straight & Undecided. If you refudiate any of the above choices, then you can get irradiated. Why bother, I wonder, why even bother to fly anymore???

The TSA is insistent on enforcing "Junk Touching Measures" despite citizen's protest. Pubic sex is now allowed at American Airports under the guise of National Security. Indeed, all the world is a stage...we have the world laughing at our nationwide hysteria...the great Canadian humorist - Stephan Leacock once wrote - "Let me hear the jokes of a nation and I will tell you what they are about and going through." Yes I do believe we have gone stark raving mad...zzzzzzzzzz.....so what else is new darling???

We do co-exist in a Rodney Dangerfield Society - don't we? Prez Dude can't and doesn't get any respect...Throw Nancy from the Train Pelosi...now demoted to Senate Minority Leader gets no respect - folks say because of all that Botox she's been getting all these years to give her that vacant-empty-emotionless-robotic look...Charlie Rangel, (D) of New York, got slammed with 11 ethics violations this past week...things he's done in office...I hear he'll be collecting on his markers before his sentencing...

Hilary flatly denies-denies-denies running for Madame Prez in 2012..."I love my job"...Donald Trump says No-No-No for a Presidential Bid...if he did run I wonder which party he would represent? Heck, it doesn't matter...he'd have every one's pink slips passed out at his Inauguration....Sorry, but you've been given the chance of running the business of the USA...You're Fired!

The press is busy-busy-busy dancing around Sarah Palin...does she or doesn't she want to run? And is her Alaska Show a roundabout ploy to get her in the Presidential seat even though Barbara Bush thinks that "she ought to stay in Alaska." Why not have a dial-in-vote to see what America thinks. 1-888-VOTE-SARAH...

Speaking of Alaska...the Senate Race is still not settled to the candidates' satisfaction...Tea Party Candidate Joe Miller & incumbent Lisa Murkowski are still in the lurch...up to this moment the whole declaration of the winner is on hold because Joe wants a recount - it is a legal challenge - whether misspelling vs. intention actually does count as a vote...stay tuned to Part III of all the folks in Alaska who can vote but can't spell dilemma...hey, I don't blame any of them for duking it out...Washington D.C. is like the tropics during those cold winters in Alaska...

Speaking of the those who may or may not run...Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R) is unsure as to whether to throw his hat in the ring for El Presidente in 2012...if he chooses to opt out...he'll be moving to Florida. He will open a MargaritaVille Bar...wear flowered shirts...Kenny Chesney music will infuse the background...sounds like a plan Tim...I'd opt for the bar...Don't Worry Be Happy with a flowered shirt has a better ring to it...

So in the meantime the press is busy scouting around for all the best Prez Candidates for the next big Mud-Slugging Fest Cycle...it's all up in the air...this one has a good barber - that one doesn't...that one can't win because of their religion...she's a woman and everybody but everyone knows that politicks in America is sexist-sexist-sexist...will Hilary run with Barack? Is Barack dumping Joe for Hilary? Or will Hilary run on her own? Could she derail the current Big-Spender-In-Chief??? Yada-Yada-Yada...

Everyone have a grand Turkey Day...and if so inclined you can go to confession before flying. "Bless me Father for I have not sinned...I was forced to cheat on my mate by having a patdown at the airport...unfortunately I just couldn't refudiate it...going to I will be going in the Straight Line...coming back, I think I will try the Undecided Line...I just want to feel what all the buzz is about"...remember Don't Ask - Don't Tell...

Gobble-Gobble...have a grate Holy Daze...and thank you for being a willing participant in the The Grate American PatDown...God, finally a sex scandal of sorts in the political arena...what would my character June say in my book EveryBody Lies About Their Sex Life? The Bisexual comedy writer..."Why be bipartisan when you can be bi-sex-u-al?"

Check out my books on Amazon & Amazon Kindle

Love,

Micheline

http://www.amazon.com/Everybody-Lies-About-Their-Life/dp/0741428903/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1290443331&sr=1-1

By

Micheline Birger


Eight more daze of this..."You can fool some of the people all the time; and all of the people some of the time but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time." Lincoln

The political Stupid-Bowl...bloodbath...Super-Bowl continues. Each party is poised like a viper making sure that they guard their turf...and catch the opportunity to out do each others shenanigans...and why shouldn't they? I would love to see all of the candidates dress up as Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! and Quack! Quack! Quack! Right back at ya'...throw in an occasional cock-a-doodle-doo! Jest for the Zen of it.

Or they could wear Bozo the Clown outfits with big red noses in their contrived face-offs. Each time one of them told a fib then their nose would grow...just like Pinocchio. The first one who's big red nose fell off is the biggest loser...

It seems like all of the hype is so superfluous to anything real...no wonder Dick Cheney & George Bush haven't come out to endorse anyone. They're probably sitting at home with the remote watching all of the Mud-Slugging and thinking - "Thank God I am done with that part of my life." I would love to know what they are thinking...feeling. Maybe they will come out of the woodwork at the 11th hour.

I think it is an interesting observation to watch a current President run around the country still campaigning. As President of the US of A, I would think he has more pressing matters. I can see a former popular Prez doing it...I wonder just how you market and package all of this "change?" This magic? And exactly why should we the people trust what any politician says???

I feel this undercurrent of a revolution going on in America. We want our politicians held accountable for every single dime of our tax dollars. We want a money back guarantee. Tit-for-Tat. We want to go and pound on the door at 0300 and say - "This is broke - give me different...we want proof...we want action...we want responsibility."

Some folks think that this "early voting" hype leaves too much room for error and foul play. And word has it that the servicemen overseas fighting still haven't received their ballots. How is it that a convicted felon has precedence over soldiers in combat...am I missing something here?

There was a hair, a sliver, of an old and tired sex scandal that emerged out of thin air this past week...the Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas Affair...of 19 years ago. Apparently Mrs. Thomas called Anita and asked her to apologize for accusing her hubby....the whole thing has ruined their life...well, it isn't going to happen...no they are not getting in the hot tub at 0400 to sing Kumbaya together...talk about a blast out of the past...and the blue.

So every one knows about Juan Williams of NPR getting canned...for his thinking out loud statement on air...about how he felt about flying...what's next...a device that's inserted under the skull so the Thought Police can track your thoughts??? The media is still scapegoating Christine O'Donnell for one thing or the other...evolution vs creationism...or whatever nonsense they can muster up for the sake of controversy...none of them were there so how does anyone really know...really now...they make her out as some airhead when in reality they took clips out of context...

There is a 15% approval rate for Nancy Pelosi...and as the Donald goes there goes the nation...apparently Donald Trump contributed $50,000 to a Karl Rove independent group - American Crossroads - a Republican outfit. I guess he can't wait until after the elections to say - "You're fired!" Maybe he can host a new Apprentice Show called "The Wannabee Politician". People could cast their votes via phone for the candidates of their choice.

I love this country. Only a country as insane as ours could be this outrageously popular on the planet. Now we have a new party in New York called - The Rent Is Too Damn High Party - for the governor's race. It's kind vague as to whether or not the founder, Jimmy McMillian is paying rent or not...we have the Aqua-Buddha in Kentucky...the Jon Stewart & Steven Colbert rally in Washington D.C. Oct. 30...ads choreographed by professional dancers demonstrating how the candidates "dance around issues." I think I will start my own party and call it - The You've Got to be Kidding Party - why not? I have no idea what I would run for but it would be a hoot discovering what could come from it...

So, last but not least, former Surgeon General, Joycelyn Elders thinks that the US ought to legalize marijuana. She's probably sitting at home with her remote watching this election tea party mania. She's probably thinking out loud or even singing that song by Bob Dylan...Everybody Must Get Stoned...

So the Vaudevillian circus of American Politicks crusades onwards and upwards...the Republicans are absolutely sure that they will nail Congress and perhaps the Senate...the Democrats absolutely sure that they will stay in power...and we shall soon see...who will be here today and gone tamale...or Don't Worry Be Happy...the election process hasn't even got to a full boil yet...little public nuances are continuously erupting like - how come Senator Harry Reid lives at the Ritz Carlton in D.C. and 15% of his state is unemployed???

Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. Just who will be the last candidates standing? The 8 day countdown continues...Blue or Red??? Most folks just want to see more Green - as in $$$. And that my friends is the bottom line. Show me - us the money...either that or you're fired. You didn't do your job right. Forget about the weak words of "getting fired up and politicks as usual." I do believe that the real battle will begin after Election Day...and who exactly is counting the votes? And why should, We, I trust them?

Pardon me for my childlike wonder in politicks. I am just an armchair observer. I would love to see the day when I don't feel so jaded and cynical by all of this off-the-wall-smoke 'n' mirrors-political-hoedown-showdown...I'm casting my vote with Dial-A-Prayer for the best folks to win for the greatest good...

Look me up on Amazon & Amazon Kindle.

Love,
Micheline

By

Micheline Birger


15 more daze...I am oh so bored with this Mid-Term Election...I spend half my energy trying to discern what all this political jargon and rhetoric is - Rubber Stamp Democrat; Bull Dog Democrat & Democrats defecting from voting for Nancy Pelosi...Democrats against voting for Obama Health Care...

Then on the Republican side...we have Republicans and then the Tea Party Republicans. I am spun out trying to keep up with what all of this means...or doesn't mean for that matter. Sometimes I feel like I live in the Divided States of America...but that is just the way it is. I certainly have to accept that for the moment. Where is the love? Just where is the heart? Where is that - A Tree Grows in Brooklyn - inspiration...

I guess it kind of goes to Chile...and the world responding to their miners...and the joint efforts of folks transcending politicks to rescue these workers a half-mile deep in the bowels of the earth. Hooray! Something the world was finally in unity with...and yes, then there was the miner's wife who didn't greet her hubby buried deep down under after he was rescued because she found out about his mistress...love does eclipse international borders, doesn't it? Especially love affairs...

Apparently the US of A is about $13.5 trillion in the hole...each new babe born in the US now owes Uncle Sam $43-44,000 dollars just for being born! Amazing, isn't it? This enlightening fact according to the Senator elect from Illinois, Mark Kirk, Republican. I guess Uncle Sam will be in the delivery room handing the bill over before the babe can have his or her first cry. Well, now they will have something to cry about.

It seems that Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin and Obama have something in common. They are all distantly related. Wouldn't it be a hoot to be a fly on the wall at their next family reunion? It could be on Love Boat. It would be hosted by Della Reese, star of Touched by an Angel. As Einstein said in his theory of relativity...it's all relatives. Wouldn't that be a fun party? Tea...anyone???

There is a lot of desperation going on in the political agenda. The name calling and the spin-control just keeps getting more out of control with all kinds of rumors floating around. Gossip, heresay against each party. Buzzes like - who is funding these races? Foreigners? And if so - whom??? Is it China? Dem Dems say the Republicans are getting foreign money. And funny enough, that is what the Republicans are saying about Dem Dems. Einstein was right..."for each action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

It seems to me that politicks is fueled by emotionalism...or in some cases, severe apathy. Believers of the current regime are now defecting to the other side...or so it is reported. I don't know. Just like Hilary Clinton says - "I don't believe half of what I read." And neither do I because it is all designed to make us confused anyway. I would venture to say that I do not believe anything that I read because I don't understand the process. It's all conjecture.

Chris Coons (D) Christine O'Donnell (R) had their little Senatorial debate in Delaware. Christine asserted basically that she wasn't born with the silver spoon up her ___. She said that she "wasn't a trust fund baby and she didn't go to Yale." She told Chris that he was jealous because he didn't make the Saturday Night Live cut and she did. Chris's response was - "I wonder who would play me."

Jerry apologized to Meg in California for someone calling her a "whore" from his campaign. Meg was gracious enough that she just laughed it off. Her agenda is crystal clear as a past CEO of EBAY - it is to create jobs & get folks back to work in the state of California. It is not to expand the size of government and have them control everything. Someone once said - "A nation that governs less, governs best." I don't know exactly where that came from...but you get the point. It was filtered down to me through the aethers.

There is a lot of Republican Women out there going for the political gold. Christine vs. Chris in Delaware. Sharron vs. Harry in Nevada. Meg vs. Jerry in California. Carly Fiorina (R) vs. Barbara Boxer (D) in California. And now there is yet another new straight-talking Republican Star on the block. A no nonsense gal by the name of Kristi Noem, running for Congress. She is coined as the Sarah Palin of S. Dakota. She has already raised an impressive $1.1 mill for her campaign. Another gal who refuses to stay home and watch Martha Stewart while ironing and yelling at the TV. She is not shouting - "Why doesn't someone do something about this insanity?" She's out making a difference.

Everybody is sweating out this election. Michael Steele of the Republican National Committee and Sarah Palin spoke at a hotel in Southern California to supporters. They were near Disneyland. How Hollywood can you get??? They were busy rustling up votes for Meg and Carly. Michael is touring the country in his - Fire Pelosi Bus.

From what I understand, and correct me if I am wrong...remember, I am just a lay person...if the Republicans win, that means that Nancy Pelosi is out, finished, kaput as Speaker of the House. You know, that Nancy who thinks that Food Stamps is an economic stimulus for the U.S.? Yes, that Nancy.

Obama and his Lady were in Ohio on Sunday. Doesn't a Prez have better things to do than still be campaigning not even two years into his administration? I don't know, it would seem that he could stay home on Sunday and rest on his laurels momentarily. He asserts, or someone in the Democratic Party asserts that - "The Republicans are counting on black folks staying home on election day." Anyway, it's his time, I don't know who's money, his energy. If that is how he chooses to spend his Sunday, then that is entirely up to him. It's just an interesting observation in all of this hullabaloo of this Spit Ball Mania.

Billy Boy Clinton and Jerry Brown have kissed and made-up. Metaphorically speaking of course. Apparently former Prez Clinton showed up unexpectedly to support Jerry at one of his functions. They hugged. They healed a riff they have had for years when they were both running for President at the same time or something like that. Truly, I am touched.

Oh, and I cannot forget, there is a new film out called I Want Your Money by filmmaker Griggs. He is described as a "right wing conservative"...he calls Obama a Socialist. It is supposed to be a humorous or humorless twist on Reagonomics vs. Obamanomics. He did not disclose where he got his private funding. Good for him. Don't let 'em see ya sweat. Another Michael Moore in the making.

Well, sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me; be obscure clearly; Stop the Insanity; liberal men are sexists; Woman on Top; sound bytes vs. sound solutions; Red or Blue Party?...I am on the edge of my seat watching the greatest show on earth...this Barnum and Bailey Circus...who will...I wonder...just who will be - the last candidate standing? The Free World is not free, it's very expensive...and it gets more expensive all the time.

The thing that makes it most intriguing is that most people, you know, you and me...according to CNN...we, we the little people common folk - think that both parties are going about this Mid-Term Erection/Election process the wrong way. I guess we the people have spoken or misspoken...according to who you talk to. 15 more grueling days...I am already twittering from TMI - too much information or misinformation...trying to discern just how much is true....Twick or Tweet...Ciao for now!


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Love,

Micheline

By

Micheline Birger

I am still so-so---so disappointed in this YouTube Politicks - War of the Sexes Mid-Term Election/Erection bloodbath. Not one decent sex scandal has emerged from the aethers...yet. Even in this post Woman's Lib era & all, it is reported that 85% of men think they please their lady into orgasm yet only 65% of women seem to agree...Ti's so sad...women are still faking orgasm so they can please their man...they don't want to bruise their egos...this according to Sari Locker, author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex...just goes to prove my point...Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life.

The only thing that could remotely pass as a sex scandal is Jerry Brown allegedly calling Meg Whitman a "whore." What a sexist remark! What is the equivalent of a male whore? A hustler? A male-chauvinist pig? Somehow it doesn't sound quite as insulting and demeaning...come on all you children who sing world peace and all of that Kumbaya stuff...first off - it would be nice if you find peace with each other...just a thought.

Sharron Angle, another Republican chick hopeful from Nevada, who came from nowhere, is getting her voice heard loud and clear. Apparently she is running an ad in Nevada saying that Harry Reid voted for the government to pay for Viagra for convicted sex offenders??? Am I missing something here??? Why would anyone in their right mind vote for that? How perverse...it's kind of like a sex scandal except it's against society...doesn't Harry know that the drug of choice is Depo-Provera. You know, it lessens those impulses for all of that testosterone...go Sharron.

And of course the government is giving stimulus money to dead people and prison inmates...another computer glitch I surmise...somehow this wonderful snafu was to the tune of $22,250,000. Let's see - 89,000 X $250 = millions of dollars...just how do dead folks spend money from the grave? And what constitutes giving inmates money? I guess it's mugs and squares money...and who distributes these stimulus programs???

Of course we can't leave out Rick Sanchez calling Jon Stewart "a Bigot...and all of the media is run by Jews"...I have one question for you Rick...did or did not your paycheck clear the bank? What's that saying called - Don't bite the hand that feeds you or something like that???

The media is still having a field day with Christine O'Donnell and her - I Am You - ad. I say...so what??? She has brass b___s and brawn. She is yet another woman on the planet who is sickened about what is going on in the US of A of politicks. At least she has the heart and soul not to back down - no matter what! Bravo! And no, she is not a witch...and who really cares what her stance is or is not about masturbation...really now! That's so personal.

Radio icon, Rush Limbaugh called "The Anointed One", our current Commander-in-Chief, a "jackass" over the airwaves. He had an irate caller phone in on his show who was very insulted by his remark. Apparently this woman had a farm and raised jackasses. She was insulted because she said that "jackasses were smart animals".

Another of Obama's cabinet quit or was it defected?...the head of National Security, James Jones for obscure reasons...I guess he got tired of all the "hand to hand combat in D.C."...you know, politicks as usual???

All of these Independents, are they all secret operatives or something? Are they really for one party or the other? Is someone secretly funding their campaign so it lessens the vote for one party or the other...something to think about...

From my biased female apolitical perspective, I am so happy to see all of these gals stepping up to the plate and kicking major butt. It's about time. Isn't leadership where it is at? They're just like that Nancy Reagan slogan - Just Say No! - soundbyte. They are saying No to the status quo. They are "mad as he__" and not taking it anymore. They are not at home folding laundry and yelling at the TV. They are not saying - Why doesn't someone do something? They are proactive role models. Go Girls Go!!!

It seems - according to CNN - that the current Commander-in-Chief's popularity is decreasing. Ya' think? His approval is rounding around 45%. 52% disapprove and 3% are undecided. You mean, according to we the people, he's not as popular as he thinks he is??? Another man who's a legend in his own mind or is he just blatantly narcissistic? You decide...

That's my take for the past week. 22 more days until E-Day...November 2. Who will be the last politician standing? I must admit that I love the process. I love it because I don't understand it. As someone famous once said - "politics is not an exact science." I think most sheep vote for someone or the other just because they can vote. In actuality they really do not know why they are voting. My definition of politicks besides total insanity is; "Keep the poor-poor. Keep the rich-rich. And justify to those in the middle why they have to pay for it."

The race is just getting started now. It hasn't even begun it's momentum yet...stay tuned for "Help I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up or Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall...and then had a great fall, and all of the King's horses and all of the King's men couldn't put Humpty-Dumpty back together again" or something like that. I guess we can just all drink some tea and watch the greatest show on earth...politicks is not personal...is it? Ciao for now!

By

Micheline Birger


It was the height of the Clinton-Monica brouhaha scandal. Sometime in '98. No one could breathe; open a paper; turn on the radio or watch the news without hearing or reading about the Prez having a little nookie in the Oral Office. So what! I thought. So what! Other political leaders, especially in Europe, always had mistresses. It wasn't a moralistic secret. It just was. Part of life. No big deal. In France especially. They thought the whole affair was the laughingstock of the world. The Prez of the Free World; the US of A. Virile. Charismatic. And a lover! What a powerful combination! The country was doing economically great, so what's the problem? Humph!

Anyway, but anyway, I attended an art opening in July in North Beach with a man. We had a mutually agreed upon contrived relationship. We decided to hang out together so he could meet other women. He felt if other women saw him with an attractive gal then he wouldn't appear as a loser. He treated me like fine wine. Always a gentleman to the core. We'd run around town on his tab; have a hoot and a holler and a whopping good time. I really wasn't into him so the arrangement suited us perfectly for the moment. I had a handsome ladies man escort and he had eye candy to strut around with. A win-win situation. We just wanted to have fun. Other women could see that he wasn't a jerk because if he didn't make this Queen Bee happy then I would drop him like a hot potato. He loved being a legend in his own mind.

Anyway, at one of our outings, I met Professor Annette Lust at an art opening in North Beach. We chatted. I love San Francisco. The natives are oh so friendly there. They really want to know who you are. Anyway, I told her that I was a writer. She then told me that I had to write a play for her one-act play festival at Dominican University in San Raphael. A play? I was an aspiring screenplay writer. I wouldn't know what and where to even start thinking about to write "a play." A one-act play nonetheless.

So over the course of the next several months I would run into her at other art openings in the city. She would boldly come up to me and ask where "her play" was. My trigger response was - "I don't do plays." Period. End of statement. I would get agitated. Upset. Who in the h___ is this woman creature demanding that I write a play for her play festival. Finally, after about 3-4 months of this constant badgering I began, at least, to entertain the thought of writing a one-act play. But what would I write about? Just what on earth would I write about?

I was saturated like everyone else with the constant heaviness of the Clinton-Monica hoopla. I would laugh. The whole thing was so ridiculous. The man is a politician - not a saint or the Pope. Monica captured him - heart and soul. I would think about all of my woman friends...all of their affairs...all of my affairs. How we all lied about our sex life. So what was the big deal with Billy Boy? Certain things must remain private. What is the point in making a federal case out of a little love in the Oral Office? What an infantile media we have! Tch! Tch! Alas! An idea was conceived.

If I were to write a one-act play, I would call it Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life. OK, but where do I go from there? Ah, yes, two gals dialoguing about their latest love affair gone awry. Ah, it wasn't working. When I tried writing it, it just wasn't going anywhere. I fell asleep with the two of them whining about their sex life. Zzzzz... I then remembered what a writing teacher once said; "Go to place where you normally don't go to write and write there." So I went to the San Francisco Hilton Hotel...you know...right in the heart of the 'Loin District. I had a small notebook. I sat in the front lobby. Bustling. International. I continued with the two gals talking about how they have always lied about their sex life. The dialogue was flat. It couldn't be resuscitated. Dead! It just wasn't going. Nowhere.

Then a Force, a Muse came to me. It threw another gal character into the mixture. Then their names echoed in my ear clear as day. April, May & June. All three writers. All 30-40 something. All ex-college roommates. All had gone their separate ways after college. Then by divine happenstance, the Universe threw them back together again in Cutting Edge City, USA. All had relationships that dissolved.

April was the straight one. She was a New Age magazine editor. She was totally in love with Bill Clinton. Both of her ex-husbands went gay. Then there was May...a lesbian erotic fiction writer. She also happened to be a Republican. Then June appeared - a bisexual comedy writer. "Why be bipartisan when you can be bisexual?" Alas! Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life was birthed! I wrote the play in about three hours after that revelation. It just kind of wrote itself after that moment of clarity. All I needed was the right angle! Yahoo!

They accepted the play at Dominican...the uppity Catholic university and all. What a hoot! I directed the play. People laughed at lines I didn't even write to be funny. But they came out funny thanks to my wonderful actors - Carolyn Gregory who played April; Catz Forsman who played May and Jean Mullis who played June.

I remember the audience's comments to me as the playwright. A 60-70 something woman from Marin asked me if I sent the script to Saturday Night Live??? A 14 year old adolescent male asked me if I planned to make a series out of it??? Whattt??? I wasn't even there in my thinking - yet. Hey, I was just happy that I wrote something that was timely and that people laughed at without canned laugh tracks. A series? Saturday Night Live? Wow!

Anyway, I did write about 11 or more one-acts with my three characters - April, May & June - using the politicks du jour as the backdrop to their sexual insights and escapades. Wouldn't it be nice if I created a producer who is actually serious about making it into a series? I had all of these chick-lit essays and poems that I had written throughout the years. I put the plays; essays and poems in a book called Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life. (The Vagina Whine-O-Logues) One of the essays was also made into a play called - If Her Purse Could Talk. This was produced in 2oo7 at Dominican also.

Since that time era of the Clinton/Monica fiasco there have been numerous other sex scandals in politics. Who needs reality shows when you have politics as the best reality show ever? The Congressman from the Mid-West who did the toe-tapping in the men's room of airports...but really now? Then the past governor of New York - Eliot Spitzer - who got defrocked...it just behooves me that these women in these scandals have all profited immensely from their taste in married men...maybe that is my new job on the planet...to run for some type of political office or have an affair with a politician...just think - I could wear teeny-tiny little Navy Blue dresses from the Gap; I could start my own online purse company and then become a "cultural attache" for the BBC. Heck, the girl - #9 - in Eliot Spitzer's world, a wannabe singer, had her songs downloaded more that 100,000 times at .99 cents a pop...but anyhow...that was then and now is now.

The saga continues. Everybody is still lying about their sex life. We've got a new Prez who has promised everything and has delivered nothing. Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose, or the more things change, the more things remain the same. So now we are globally caught up in the "Great Recession". The US of A is undergoing yet another political maelstrom. Ye Gods, are we all flying by the seats of our pants? Is the whole world falling apart only to idealistically come together? Is everything really going to H___ in a handbasket??? Or is it all just smoke & mirrors???

There is one thing that remains constant amongst all of this change. And that is - Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life. Everybody...except me...I don't have one, by choice, so there is nothing to lie about. So what, a lot of folks don't have one either. I love to quote Glenda Jackson when she talks about acting. "The important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry. When I have to laugh, I think about my sex life. When I have to cry, I think about my sex life." Or Woody Allen when he quips about sex. "I'm a practicing heterosexual but bisexuality doubles my chance for a date on Saturday night."

This is my Hello to my new column. I have no idea what to write about but I write anyway. Somebody will find it entertaining besides me I hope.

If interested in purchasing the book - Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life - follow link below. It can also be purchased on Amazon; Barnes & Noble online; and Border's online. Ciao for now!

http://www.buybooksontheweb.com/product.aspx?ISBN=0-7414-2890-3

Love ya'
Micheline