John Q. Public's Letter to His Senator...From the Heartland
By
Micheline
I love it. This past week and all of the wonderful news about the Secret Service having public sex lives in Columbia. Such an international sensation. I feel so protected and safe here in the Homeland. Our U.S. government working hard for the people and by the people...I lied, it makes me nauseous actually but I guess no body really takes their job seriously anymore...anyway...
Here's a passionate cry by an Iowa guy. Straight from America's Heartland - to his Senator. It's well written and is brutally forthright. Here goes... FORMS ARE GOING FAST- SIGN UP TODAY! Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510
Dear Senator Harkin ,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service , I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you. My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted.
If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively?
This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in two of the last 5 years. Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications , as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums .. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car. If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
(hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )
Donald Ruppert Burlington , IA
Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040 (Please pass this on to your friends so they can save on this great offer.) Things just don't add up do they? Or do they? Thank God John Q. still can write letters that aren't censored...
And if that isn't enough, the NSA is completing a Spy Center in Utah...I guess after it's coronation they'll invite Colombian Ladies of the Evening to partake in the festivities...NSA in Utah Link
Anyway, that's all for now folks. Support your cosmic U.S. satire writer. Buy my books on Kindle.
XOXO
Micheline