The Slime Report
By
Micheline
It's not enough that the "shovel ready jobs" have gone to the Food Police who snatch turkey- cheese sandwiches from 5 year old's in North Carolina. What's more incredulous is that seven million pounds of "pink slime" is going to school lunch programs masquerading as ground beef. I guess the motto of the U.S.D.A. for American children is "Let Them Eat Slime."
I think I'm going to think real hard about having my next sumptuous juicy burger - anywhere. I'll buy it from the local Italian Deli that sells ground sirloin. It looks like; tastes like; and smells like real beef. I will cook it myself. But - slime for school lunches? Give me a break!
Beef scraps; cow connective tissues peppered with possible cow intestines doesn't give me a warm and fuzzy feeling. And that's not including "other beef trimmings" a la marinade that is definitely guaranteed to whet my appetite. Hey, if it's good enough for dog food and cooking oil then it's good enough for school menus. To add to this spectacle, saute it with some ammonia gas to kill off the E. Coli and Salmonella. Voila - cost effective eating...lunch is served. Excuse me while I get nauseous. Did they run this little seven million dollar nuance by our First Lady of the White House who insists on healthy school lunches! I wonder...
The "Pink Slime" AKA "lean finely textured beef" has been pulled from Burger King; Taco Bell and McDonald's. Sounds like a run on any of these establishments during lunch would fare better on ground beef day. Take-outs anyone? It appears to me that the Food Police in schools have their work cut out for them for a very long stretch...even children's lunches are political...imagine that!
Now, back to the Republican Race. Mitt, Rick, Newt & Ron. And the winner is...maestro, you do the honors. It's a showdown between Mitt and Rick...they're going to the wire...balancing their high trapeze act...
My last week's beef (no pun intended) was Rush Limbaugh and his Freudian Slip name-calling to Sandra Fluke - AKA - The Birth Control Queen - ah Rush was just being Rush engaged in a little playful name-calling. The airwaves are dominated by an adolescent War of the Titans...pundits...and yakety-yak talking heads.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch 46-47% of Americans are on some type of public assistance...people need jobs and the baby needs new shoes. Car 54, where are you? Beam me up Scotty! Stop the world, I want to get off! Problem is that I don't know where to get off from this total insanity. 10 - 4...over and out.
That's it for this week's beef...the great mystery of the mystery meat has been solved! Ha! Ha! The Slime Report. Heaven help us please! We need a good sex-scandal again to break up all of this monotony. Bill? Where are you when we need you most?
Support your local satire writer. Buy my books on Kindle.
XOXO
Micheline
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&search-alias=digital-text&field-author=Micheline%20Birger
Micheline
It's not enough that the "shovel ready jobs" have gone to the Food Police who snatch turkey- cheese sandwiches from 5 year old's in North Carolina. What's more incredulous is that seven million pounds of "pink slime" is going to school lunch programs masquerading as ground beef. I guess the motto of the U.S.D.A. for American children is "Let Them Eat Slime."
I think I'm going to think real hard about having my next sumptuous juicy burger - anywhere. I'll buy it from the local Italian Deli that sells ground sirloin. It looks like; tastes like; and smells like real beef. I will cook it myself. But - slime for school lunches? Give me a break!
Beef scraps; cow connective tissues peppered with possible cow intestines doesn't give me a warm and fuzzy feeling. And that's not including "other beef trimmings" a la marinade that is definitely guaranteed to whet my appetite. Hey, if it's good enough for dog food and cooking oil then it's good enough for school menus. To add to this spectacle, saute it with some ammonia gas to kill off the E. Coli and Salmonella. Voila - cost effective eating...lunch is served. Excuse me while I get nauseous. Did they run this little seven million dollar nuance by our First Lady of the White House who insists on healthy school lunches! I wonder...
The "Pink Slime" AKA "lean finely textured beef" has been pulled from Burger King; Taco Bell and McDonald's. Sounds like a run on any of these establishments during lunch would fare better on ground beef day. Take-outs anyone? It appears to me that the Food Police in schools have their work cut out for them for a very long stretch...even children's lunches are political...imagine that!
Now, back to the Republican Race. Mitt, Rick, Newt & Ron. And the winner is...maestro, you do the honors. It's a showdown between Mitt and Rick...they're going to the wire...balancing their high trapeze act...
My last week's beef (no pun intended) was Rush Limbaugh and his Freudian Slip name-calling to Sandra Fluke - AKA - The Birth Control Queen - ah Rush was just being Rush engaged in a little playful name-calling. The airwaves are dominated by an adolescent War of the Titans...pundits...and yakety-yak talking heads.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch 46-47% of Americans are on some type of public assistance...people need jobs and the baby needs new shoes. Car 54, where are you? Beam me up Scotty! Stop the world, I want to get off! Problem is that I don't know where to get off from this total insanity. 10 - 4...over and out.
That's it for this week's beef...the great mystery of the mystery meat has been solved! Ha! Ha! The Slime Report. Heaven help us please! We need a good sex-scandal again to break up all of this monotony. Bill? Where are you when we need you most?
Support your local satire writer. Buy my books on Kindle.
XOXO
Micheline
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&search-alias=digital-text&field-author=Micheline%20Birger