Liberal Conservatives and Other Word Twists Political Surrealism or 'Tis the Season of the Female Republican

By

Micheline Birger



I'm still waiting for the Sex Scandal 29 days before the Mid-Term Elections. I don't know if anyone else has noticed besides myself that we have a lot of disgruntled voters and politicos out there. Everyone thinks they have "The Answer". George Burns was right - "How come everyone who knows how to run the country is busy either driving cabs or cutting hair?" Everyone 'cept the politicians...they all know how to get "on course" and not deviate. Economics, jobs, health, education,crime, national and international security, diplomatic relations - whew - I'm exhausted. I need some comic relief amongst all of this cacophony.

Well, former Governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, is back in the saddle again. Or is it back on the saddle again? Whatever! You remember, the guy who wanted to clean up New York but got caught with Call Girl #9, a wannabe singer? That Eliot Spitzer. Well is little affaire de la coeur (affair of the heart) girlfriend profited from this exposure by having her songs downloaded more than 100,000 times at .99 cents a pop. Only in America. Sex does sell, doesn't it?

Anyway, he is a born-again, reformed man. He's got a gig co-hosting yet another Talking Head Show with Kathleen Parker, a Pulitzer Prize winning columnist. Kathleen is the Star. Yeah! Woman on top! I think they call her a "liberal conservative" whatever that is. You figure it out. I can't.

Jerry Brown and Meg Whitman are deep in their mud-wrestling for their governorship of the Great State of California. Meg is being crucified, stoned, and hung on the cross by her past Hispanic maid of 9 years. I don't know, something to the effect that the maid was never legal or something. "'Splain yourself out of that one Lucy." But underneath all of that hoopla the real question remains. That is whether or not the voters are angry enough at 'dem Dems for spending so much dough since they've been in office. And...are they, the voters, willing to switch over to overthrow the current regime???

Hilary Clinton is not running for Prez in 2012. I guess that is why a dentist from Illinois has paid for an ad for her that has already aired in New Orleans. Hill for Prez in 2012. Her slogan - Where there's a Hill, there's a way! Apparently the ads are going to be placed in LA, New York, Washington and possibly Houston. That's what they call "strategerie" for someone who denies zero interest or the intention to be dragged through the political coals - once again. I must hand it to all of these woman politico's - regardless of their party - Hooray! They all have guts and brawn!

I guess if there is some sexual tension in this race, it is with the women running for office. They claim that the media is biased, sexist and that the women candidates whine too much because it appears that the almighty media plays the gender card way too much. Gosh, as a female observer, watching this whole fiasco, my immediate knee-jerk reaction is - Ya' think? If it walks like a turkey, and talks turkey, then it's turkey, isn't it?

Of course it is true. When equally qualified folks are vying for power slots, it brings out the best and the worst of them, doesn't it? That is what makes them whole and alive. We need street-fighting chicks getting their stronghold in the political system. Isn't that what America is about? Or, am I missing something? Please let me know.

Apparently Christine O'Donnell and her masturbation comment was misconstrued erroneously. Ha! Christine sees masturbation as adultery. What??? Am I missing something? Who and what are they committing adultery with? And really, what does it matter? In the grander scheme of things...

Rahm Emmanuel, the White House Chief of Staff, stepped down from his post to go be 'da Mayor of crime-ridden corrupt Chicago. His replacement, Peter Mouse likes cats. He's going to be the new Chief of Staff. Oh, I'm so sorry, I stand to be corrected - Peter Rouse...somehow I like Mouse better. You know, everything in politicks and in life is one big cat and mouse game anyway.

Jon Stewart is "saddened by Obama"; Obama is barnstorming in backyared politicks trying to rustle up votes for the Mid-Terms...and the great Stupid-Bowl er SuperBowl of politics a la Americaino continues. And I love every single moment of it. I write about it because I know nothing about it. Is there any other reason on the planet to write about it? I don't think so. But, I tell ya', just one itty-bitty, juicy sex scandal would definitely liven things up. Don't you think? The heat is on!

See my book, Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life

http://www.buybooksontheweb.com/product.aspx?ISBN=0-7414-2890-3

By

Micheline Birger


You know, quite frankly, I am oh so bored with this Mid-Term erection process. No juicy, meaty, scintillating sex scandals to blather on about. How dull...how flat...thus far. Except from that chick from Delaware - Christine O'Donnell who's whopping all of the Big Boys in her home state. Yeah, go Christine go. Go get 'em Tiger!!! Oh Saturday Night Live did a blip on her on her anti-masturbation or was it pro-masturbation politico platform? Whatever...does it really matter? Do you want Uncle Sam in your bedroom? Especially when you are alone? Oh poooolllleeeezzzzeee!!! I surmise it was just the misspokenness of her youth...

Those Republican Girls are like giant wrecking balls coming into play with the oh so stale male political agendas. Now that is what I call change. These gals have more b___s than any man that I have ever known...and I say - more power to them. I do not know, nor do I care about what their agenda is - but - what I do admire is their grit and determination to live their vision. They are indeed the poster child for the pop-up doll, Barbie, who actually does have a valid opinion this time. And these Barbie Republican gals, just will not, and I repeat will not - back down.

They are a role-model for all women. They are not quivering, shaking and crying boohoo-boohoo every time the media-o-cracy gives them flack. It used to be that political women "stood by their man" almost like that Tammy Wynette song. And now it is the men who are "standing by their woman." Quite frankly, I do not know that much about this Christine O'Donnell and what her marital status is or is not...I just admire her "full steam ahead and damn the torpedoes" laser beam focus for her agenda. Let the best man win...whether it be man or woman!

The only big sex thing thus far, to my knowledge is the gays in the military - "Don't ask, don't tell policy" that I quite don't understand...but there are folks out there that apparently want to repeal it for whatever esoteric or moral reasoning that they can muster up. I say it is just another smoke'n'mirrors brouhaha that means absolutely zilch in the Big Picture of things...does it really matter who is fighting for America as long as they are Americans??? To the core in their heart and souls? Does a church ask where the money comes from when they need their coffers filled? No, they just thank a power much greater for providing.

So the political Stupid-Bowl, er, Super-Bowl continues as comedienne Steven Colbert goes to Washington D.C. to address Congress about "corn-husking" or some such nonsense; the Talk Show Hosts continue to roast Obama like a stuffed pig by reminding the people how bad off we are with him; and the Tea Party Movement is gaining momentum as we all go rogue. God, we all need a good sex scandal to sweeten the pot. That always spins things even more out of control in this spun-out-of-control Midterm Erection. I shall call it the Dawning of the Age of the Republican Female Dominance a la Ball-Busting Get Back to Basics and Make American Strong Agenda.

It just goes to show you, a woman has to work twice as hard to go half as far as a man - but they do and can do it. It is their Karma, it is their Destiny. Does anyone, anybody, I am desperate to know...does anyone know about any good sex scandals besides masturbation in this heat of political fervor? Yes, Ti's the season of the woman...yeah!