New Year-Old Smears & New Sex Scandals...Hopefully...
By
Micheline Birger
I don't know about you but I am sure glad the holly-daze are over...I am holly-dazed out. I think I am suffering from Post-Traumatic Holiday Stress DisOrder or PTHSD. Now we can get back to business and politicks as usual...you know...cut the phony-baloney Kumbaya stuff...be back to being our real plastic selves...whatever that is. I am happy that the forced joyful season is over again for another year. Whew!
I am anxiously awaiting to see the new political hopefuls strut their stuff...like runway models. Belly up to the bar boys and girls! Let's see if you can put the citizen's money in your mouth...you know - we little folks who got you in there??? Yes - Us. I think you call us your constituents. Let's see you walk your talk...talk your walk...shake your money maker. CaChing$$$
Let's see...we ended 2010 with folks up in arms about health care; illegal immigration; WikiLeaks; the economy; those irritating little wars in the Middle East; political corruption gone crazy; terrorism; education; taxes; TSA pat downs and gays serving openly in the military. And now we are beginning 2011 with folks seething about health care; illegal immigration; WikiLeaks; the economy; Middle Eastern Wars; rampant political corruption; terrorism; education; TSA pat downs and taxes. Don't Ask Is Now Do Tell...just think...the military will be having better U.S.O. shows. So what's the problem? It seems that it's all still politicks as usual. Zzzzzz! To quote Will Rogers - "The business of government is to keep the government out of business...that is unless business needs government aid."
So we shall see. Americans are now playing a new sport called - How to keep your hard-earned money. How to keep your job. How to keep your house and other tangible assets...the U.S. Dollar ended 2010 at about .79 cents on the dollar...give or take some digits here or there...not much of a change other than more folks asking for more spare change...and now the government has the right to supersede parental authority and tell children what they have to eat in schools...incrementalization at it's most basic level.
Folks still aren't done with Christine O'Donnell (R)...someone apparently has a personal vendetta out for her. Some nameless entity accused Christine of using her campaign financing to help with her personal bills...she had to go on ABC to refudiate it. A Source...a Leaky Source...a disgruntled campaign worker??? Scandalous news does spread like wildfire, doesn't it? She refudiated by saying that the allegations were ridiculous and were taken out of context...she will be adopting Gilda Radnor's slogan - "It's always something...if it's not one damn thing it's another." But the good news is that she has a book deal coming up so she can now pay all of her bills. I think she'll be calling it - I'm Not A Witch or I Am You or even possibly I Didn't Go To Yale.
Joe Miller (R) of Alaska finally conceded to Lisa Murkowski (R) for the Senatorial race. He doesn't have Lisa's number to call and congratulate her for her victory..."it's not like it's sour grapes or anything"..."I'll do it...but I don't agree"...Joe, it's over. Over and out! EARTH TO JOE..Earth to Joe - give it up. Yes, you did win the primary but you lost the election. You won a battle, but you didn't win the war. Lisa's going South for the winter Joe, not you. Get over yourself - OK?
There's a changing of the guards for Governors this month...we now have 29 Republican Governors...let's see...50 states...gosh, that's more than half RED. Hmmm! The Arnold (R) of California is leaving replaced by former Governor MoonBeam Brown(D)...yes...he's back. Governing. More jobs Jerry...not more government, O.K.? And in South Carolina, Governor Mark Sanford (R) is stepping down...you know the Romeo who had this mad-hot-love-affair with the Don't Cry for Me Argentina babe and got a divorce...and his political career was not ruined. Anyway, he's passing the torch to Nikki Haley (R), a girl, who will now lead the great state of South Carolina.
Speaking of women politicians, Brazil now has it's first woman Prez as of January 1, 2011...Dilma Rousseff, AKA "a subversive Joan of Arc"...apparently she's really big on gender equality. Congrats Dilma! Wouldn't it be entertaining if we had our first female Prez? It would have to be Hilary (D)...no one else. What would even more interesting is if we had a woman Prez and a woman V.P. Just think. If Hilary and The Sarah (R) would go Centrist...Hilary as Prez and Sarah as V.P. ... that would be the one and only winning ticket for 2012 to beat Prez Dude...I would call it Micheline's Sitcom - Queens of Everything - they would be unbeatable. Hey, there's more women in the U.S. who can vote...it would be a landslide election. Warrior Princesses rule the Free World. Hey, please laugh...it could happen.
So, it's back to the drawing board...Republicans and Democrats have to try and get along at the 112 Congress...I hear Dr. Phil will be there on opening day to give group psychotherapy to the dysfunctional Senate and Congress...he'll talk about compromise and cooperation for the greater good...and here they thought it was about smears; scandals; lies; money; illicit sex; and lobbying...you know politicks as usual. My character June from my book Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life would quip - Why be bipartisan when you can be bisexual?
Happy New Year everyone. Let's all have a smashing year regardless of what the political reality show is doing or not doing in Washington D.C. ... Don't touch that dial! The New Year's show has just started. Where, I wonder, will the next sex scandal surface from??? You know, something juicy that everyone can deny? Because You know, I know, Everyone knows - Everybody Lies About Their Sex Life.
Love
Micheline
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Labels: 2012 Elections;political satire blogs; Christine O'Donnell; Sex Scandals;