Two Turkeys Avoid TSA PatDowns As America's Sex Shellacking Continues Ad Nauseum Refudiating the Grate American Patdown...America's Biggest Public Sex Scandal To Date... Let Them Eat Spam...Still No New Sex Scandal... GooGoo GaGa - BooHoo BooHoo - I Got Shellacked! 'Twas the Nite Before the Election...& Still No Sex Scandal...Yet!!!
Well, Apple and Cider, bypassed airport PatDowns...and they didn't get nuked flying into D.C. from Modesto, California...courtesy of the US Taxpayer...nor did they get a "shellacking" for Thanksgiving Day...instead they received a full Presidential Pardon so they can live in the political capital of the world...by the way...Apple and Cider are turkeys...gobble...gobble...gobble...
Prez Dude took another shellacking playing basketball on Friday...had to get 12 stitches in his lip...I guess he will be lisping at his next TelePrompter speech...I hear he will be taking ventriloquist lessons...and getting a cute dummy to do his talks...
Joe Miller, (R), who won the Senate primary in Alaska for the Tea Party is still contesting his shellacking by incumbent Lisa Murkowski (R)...still no word what the final answer is...I guess it's not over until the fat lady sings...it's kind of leaning towards Lisa...
Rahm Emmanual, former White House Chief of Staff, is getting his own shellacking in Hometown Chicago...apparently he rented out his Chicago house to a real estate industrialist/entrepreneur who has a lease on the house until 2011...Rahm asked him to break it so he could move back in and he refused...he doesn't feel like moving out...yet...and the quirk is that since Rahm wasn't/isn't an official resident of Chicago because he rented out his house while in D.C. he is no longer considered a resident of Chicago and legally cannot run for 'Da Mayor...and to top it off, his tenant who has absolutely no experience in politicks is running for 'Da Mayor...I see lots of legal battles in their future...
So the new Political Theatre that is emerging is a party called the No Labels Party...not too far left and not to far right...they're Centrist Dems and Republicans...and their common thread is bi-partisanship...apparently Mayor Mike Bloomberg of 'ze Big Apple is kind of...sort of...the unofficial head of it...as an Independent...sounds like the Can't We Just All Get Along Party to me...
Apparently the anticipated opting-out of the TSA pat-downs was more of a let-down this weekend...a gal did wear a bikini going through the line in the LA Airport...I guess folks just didn't want to rabble-rouse...just go from point A to B...just let the U.S. Government irradiate and feel you up on your way to Grandma's...what is the alternative to not flying anymore??? That's what some pundits are calling incrementalization...another new word...
We are becoming a nation of sheep...we are all so ardent and passionate about all of our causes...perhaps our next cause ought to be saving our own souls from Pat-Downs and Irradiation...what else is next...total cavity searches to board a commercial plane? We all need to stand-up and not sit-down flipping the remote and screaming at the TV...Why doesn't someone do something about this total insanity....Stop the Insanity!!! You know, it is not OK, it really isn't...
What happened to the Spirit of America? Rugged Individualism? You know the grit that makes the outrageous U.S. of A. such a smashing success? A world super power... Are we becoming wimps? Fearful to stand up for our rights...or are we just giving our power to a government that flies out turkeys from Modesto, California courtesy of our hard earned tax dollar...just to think...two turkeys from Modesto were the only ones who didn't get shellacked this past Turkey Daze...
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Labels: political satire blog, refudiate;2012 elections;Sarah Palin;Don't Touch My Junk;TSA;political satire, Tea Party
Labels: refudiate;2012 elections;Sarah Palin;Don't Touch My Junk;TSA;political satire, Tea Party
Micheline Birger
Meanwhile, back in Alaska, there's a Texas-Hold-Em-Draw & Count...they don't have a defined, declared winner in the Senate race...is it Tea Party Candidate Joe Miller or incumbent Lisa Murkowski...I hope I spelled her name right...she was a write-in candidate...both insist that they won...she is not giving up her throne until the last ballot is counted...tit-for-tat...Alaska is still trying to figure out what intention vs. a real vote is...for all of the folks that couldn't spell her name right...apparently the name has to be spelled exactly like it is on the election registry...we shall see...we shall see...so they remain in character posturing and sucker-punching each other...if Mississippi lent her New Jersey - what would Delaware - I don't know I'll Alaska...
An old sex scandal resurfaced as a deep healing...revelation of sorts...for (R) Governor Mark Sanford (S.C.) & his affair with Don't Cry for Me Argentina - Maria Belan Chapur...she was his soul mate...he begged the public for their forgiveness & he got it. 70% of the folks thought he was a good gov...but it did cost him his marriage...now he's on a deep inner journey...is Maria still part of that journey??? Well...now he is a free man...true lovers will always find a way to be with each other if it is meant to be...his term is up after the New Year...so what he does now is whatever he does...
A gal named Lawless out of American University says -"There is something fundamentally wrong with a political system that elects such a small number of women when women constitutes such a majority of the population." Ya' think??? That's what I've been saying all along. Look at how the media-o-cracy crucifies the political women...Hilary; Meg; Sarah; Christine...I definitely want to see more women up there...it's about time...they can't bungle anything worse than what they guys have...sexism is alive and well in America...and yes, we gals have the power to alter politics simply because we outnumber the male population...so what's the problem?
So the Democratic Party is still a House Undecided & Divided on what to do with "The Nancy"...Nancy Pelosi that is...should they throw Nancy from the train...is she an asset...or is she herstory??? And on the Republican side, they think that Michael Steele needs to go...you know the guy who went around the US of A in the Fire Pelosi Bus...so it doesn't matter...'Dem Dems or Republicans...they are all in a flux...infighting and backbiting...you know...politicks as usual. And don't forget the meeting of the minds this week with all of the powers that be...in D.C....those still in...those going out...and all the new kids on the block...and their Lame Duck sessions....
The pollsters are already geared for 2012...who will beat the current Dude in the White House...Romney - Huckabee - Sarah??? Apparently it's leaning to the guy candidates...folks want to know whether Obama is re-electable? And is Hilary waiting in the wings???
Meanwhile, folks got stranded on a Carnival Cruise Line...they did serve them free drinks and airlifted Spam to them...did they all actually see a missile being launched off the coast of Southern California in their alcoholic hallucinations??? Or was it a mirage? Or am I getting my headlines mixed up???
Insightful quips heard on the air & in the air this past week were - Politicks is not pretty...there is no civility to politics...no one takes politics seriously...I must say that all this is true...how can we the little people take any of them seriously...watching all of these educated scholars resort to name-calling; accusations of all sorts; heresay and gossip. I heard this one older gal say that the only thing the government is good for is "collecting taxes and delivering the mail."
So we shall see what unfolds this week with this changing of the guard...Lame Duck Sit-Down Dinner-a-la-Food-Fight...in the meantime take the Zen approach to life - Just don't do something...stand there! And let them eat Spam!!!
Love,
Micheline
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Labels: Health Care Reform; Presidential Elections 2012, Mid-Term Elections; sex scandals, political satire
Labels: Health Care Reform; Presidential Elections 2012, Mid-Term Elections; sex scandals
Micheline Birger
'Twas the Nite before the election
and all through the House
the politicians were all sweating -
even Mickey Mouse...Squeak! Squeak!
Well, the Big Day arrives as promised tomorrow...or as Will Rogers once quipped - "More men have been elected between SunDown and SunUp than between SunUp and SunDown." I believe that we can all agree to disagree that watching this painful process is like watching a bad sitcom of a very dysfunctional family...all vying for power. It's been a brutal battle. "A political war is one where everyone shoots from the lip." Raymond Moley. "Every nation has the government that it deserves." Joseph Marie de Maistre (1753-1821) (The only race where most people pick the winner is an election) Enough said.
About sex scandals...really, just cheap shot attempts against the opposing party...so what else is new darling??? Yawn...there is an old affair - one that buoyed forth in a smear ad about Senator David Vitter (R) - happened in 2007...apparently he made calls to the D.C. Madam...he was in her Rolodex or something...he copped to his lack of judgement...he knows that he committed a serious sin...and he is likely to beat Melancon (D) in Louisiana...and then there was a negative blog that some guy was paid to write about Christine O'Donnell in her racy college daze...some guy by the name of Brad...it's unclear whether he was an old flame or just a bud...how infantile and desperate...
So the main issues loom larger than life...health care, illegal immigrants, the economy, war...what to do? What to do? And did you know that the U.N. Compound in the Big Apple is getting fumigated for yet a third term for bedbugs?...three is a charm.
Then there is all of these creepy-crawly stories about election fraud...and is Big Brother really keeping account of who is voting... Annie Get Your Gun...are they demanding I.D.'s...is it true that folks are registering as Donald Duck; Mickey Mouse; Genghis Khan; Jive Turkey; Dick Tracy; Karl Marx; Woody Woodpecker??? And are they really letting illegal immigrants vote in Prince George's County, Maryland??? Is it true? Is it true? Is it true that someone inadvertently, accidentally on purpose, sent 2000 ballots to the Cook County Jail for Illinois's finest to cast their vote? Meanwhile, back at the Frontline in the War Zones - customer service got the order messed up and didn't get the ballots out to the U.S. Servicemen and Women...you know the one's fighting for the U.S. of A?
And, by the way, is it true that McDonald's in Canton, Ohio...that employee's got a little note in their paychecks that said - "If the right people are elected, we will be able to continue with raises and benefits...at or above the current levels...if other's are elected we will not. Vote Republican."
Oh, and of course we can't forget the Prez of the Free World on Jon Stewart...you know the guy - President Dude? Hey Dude!!! And of course Jon and Steven Colbert's big shindig rally in D.C. on the 30th of October was extremely well attended...perhaps 150,000-200,000 showed up to that gala to Restore Sanity and/or Fear...I watched some of it live online...a stellar line-up of star power...Cat Stevens; The O'Jays; Ozzy Osbourne; Sam Waterston of Law & Order read Colbert's poem...Are You Sure? And former Saturday Night Live icon - Father Guido Sarducci made a surprise appearance to Bless the Event...
My "hit" on the whole event is a famous quote by from Clarence Darrow when he was speaking of Lincoln Steffens - "Everything serious he says is a joke and everything humorous he says is dead serious."
I loved some of the picket signs at the Event Rally. Leaders Lead - Not Bicker...Keep the Government Out of My Cauldron...I Doubt That This Sign Will Change Your Opinion.
Other clever witticisms in the air and on the air were - "The Democratic Party has gotten so bad that even the nominees are voting Republican." "A taxpayer voting Democrat is like a chicken voting for Col. Sanders." "Conservative women are all whores and bitches"...and if Nancy Pelosi is ousted she will either quit or retire...thar' she blows...Happy Trails to you until we meet again...Joyce Behar calls Sharron Angle a "bitch"...Sarah Palin is on the Today Show talking about the Great Alaskan Pipeline becoming a reality...
And last but not least, the current Commander-in-Chief...President Dude has spent the last week campaigning-jetting-campaigning-jetting...and two daze after the bloodbath election he has a Passage to India via a huge dog 'n' pony entourage...courtesy of the U.S. Taxpayer. He has booked the entire Taj Mahal Hotel...Michelle apparently will meet with sex workers there...and yes folks...we are paying for your opinion but please keep your opinions to yourself.
So sleep tight my friends...the party has only begun...who will be the last candidates standing? Will the Republicans take over the House and possibly the Senate??? 'Twas the night before the election and all through the House...now who? Who - Who - Who let the dogs out???
Labels: Jon Stewart, Mid-Term Elections; sex scandals, political satire, Republican Women, Steven Colbert